Hari ni 28 Dec, aku terpacak keseorangan di ofis, membuat kerja submission ke ConfIRM, satu paper adapt dari paper ECIS, dan satu lagi on green technology sajhaja kucuba nasib. Semalam, teringin hati nak berboxing, tapi hajat tak sampai kerana kena sambut org baru sampai-Dr Siti di rumah Kak Rin. Aku ditugaskan masak sekor ayam yg aku buat chicken roast yang sedar. Selain tu, bawa roti dandanku yang glamer itu...
Rabu, Disember 28, 2011
Isnin, Disember 19, 2011
Korea
hari Simon bercerita ttg hubungan Korea utara & Selatan, dan notoroious leader of Korea Utara..
Asal certanya dia kesahkan camana org Korea nak anak2 mereka ada pendidikan Inggeris, sanggup hantar anak belajar US Australia, ditemani isteri, hidup tepisah, berkorban asalakan anak senang
Asal certanya dia kesahkan camana org Korea nak anak2 mereka ada pendidikan Inggeris, sanggup hantar anak belajar US Australia, ditemani isteri, hidup tepisah, berkorban asalakan anak senang
Isnin, November 21, 2011
Spt biasa hujung mgu sy akan mjadi hujung mgu yg sarat dgn xtvt sosial. Ptg jmaat hadir dinner d rmh head of school. Tgharunya sblmtu, ada sesi perkenalan dgn delegasi iciq kbnyakannya dr US. Pagi2 sabtu kelam kabut buat cucyr utk bw rmh dr kamarul utl smbut org bau 2 family- miza nil amri dan zeti. Sdgkubd dapur, anak2 kata abh klua. Tahu2 dia muncul smula dgn 2 kotak cocelle barisi 73 pcs corelle hasil gs. Sesi d rmh dr kamarul d hadiri jg dr risman & sofurah. Pastu g rmh k rin, yg jd kelas masak kuih hijau ileh k nana. Mkn mlm, pastu g hall d paynehem dgr ceramah sejarah msia oleh dr hafizi. Ampai rmh kul 12 lebih. Pagu2 esoknya lps hntr husb gi unisa city east itk kursrs tpos( training for palestine speakers), bw anak2 trus ke bonython park utk mjlia hr jaji anak2 liza& ani. Meriah irg ramai sggug. D situ jg ada majlis aidil adha ileh islamic dakwah cte. Pastu g rmh sitah urk smayg. Dia masak nasi atam pukak. Lps amik suami, semula ke rmh sitah makan nasi ayam, miza zainul jg ada. Nizam lps tu bergegas dihantar sitah ke airport urk conference seminggu d bali. Kami trus ke rmh zeti( rmh surah) tp xdw org. Dia d rng dgina. So km ke sana utk terangkan hal telefon. Blk rmh gina kyl 10 lbh. Penat sungguh. Pagi isnin. Twrasa lrmah badan. Pkl 12 msh d rmh.
Isnin, November 14, 2011
Ahad, Oktober 23, 2011
Hala
Dalam 2 mgu ni, dah 3 kali saya makan besar di rumah hala, jiran Lebanon yang saya kenali sejak setahun lalu, Sya kagum melihatnya sungguh aktif, cergas dan tabah. Sekarang, ibunya mengunjunginya, dan akan balik dgn MAS lusa. Di Malaysia, kami dan uruskan Asfahani utk ambil & hantar dia dr airpit 3.15pm dan 11.59pm 25 Okt 2011
Rabu, Oktober 19, 2011
Dialog dr tuhan
Ketila sy sungguh lost, tuhan ketemukan dgn artikel dr blog org yg tak sy kenali, tp sgt tepat dgn sy:
Why Do People Have to Leave Each Other? Part I | Part II
When I was 17 years old, I had a dream. I dreamt that I was sitting inside a masjid and a little girl walked up to ask me a question. She asked me: “Why do people have to leave each other?” The question was a personal one, but it seemed clear to me why the question was chosen for me.
I was one to get attached.
Ever since I was a child, this temperament was clear. While other children in preschool could easily recover once their parents left, I could not. My tears, once set in motion, did not stop easily. As I grew up, I learned to become attached to everything around me. From the time I was in first grade, I needed a best friend. As I got older, any fall-out with a friend shattered me. I couldn’t let go of anything. People, places, events, photographs, moments—even outcomes became objects of strong attachment. If things didn’t work out the way I wanted or imagined they should, I was devastated. And disappointment for me wasn’t an ordinary emotion. It was catastrophic. Once let down, I never fully recovered. I could never forget, and the break never mended. Like a glass vase that you place on the edge of a table, once broken, the pieces never quite fit again.
But the problem wasn’t with the vase. Or even that the vases kept breaking. The problem was that I kept putting them on the edge of tables. Through my attachments, I was dependent on my relationships to fulfill my needs. I allowed those relationships to define my happiness or my sadness, my fulfillment or my emptiness, my security, and even my self-worth. And so, like the vase placed where it will inevitably fall, through those dependencies I set myself up for disappointment. I set myself up to be broken. And that’s exactly what I found: one disappointment, one break after another.
But the people who broke me were not to blame any more than gravity can be blamed for breaking the vase. We can’t blame the laws of physics when a twig snaps because we leaned on it for support. The twig was never created to carry us.
Our weight was only meant to be carried by God. We are told in the Quran: “…whoever rejects evil and believes in God hath grasped the most trustworthy hand-hold, that never breaks. And God hears and knows all things.” (Qur’an 2: 256)
There is a crucial lesson in this verse: that there is only one handhold that never breaks. There is only one place where we can lay our dependencies. There is only one relationship that should define our self-worth and only one source from which to seek our ultimate happiness, fulfillment, and security. That place is God.
But this world is all about seeking those things everywhere else. Some of us seek it in our careers, some seek it in wealth, some in status. Some, like me, seek it in our relationships. In her book, Eat, Pray, Love, Elizabeth Gilbert describes her own quest for happiness. She describes moving in and out of relationships, and even traveling the globe in search of this fulfillment. She seeks that fulfillment—unsuccessfully—in her relationships, in meditation, even in food.
And that’s exactly where I spent much of my own life: seeking a way to fill my inner void. So it was no wonder that the little girl in my dream asked me this question. It was a question about loss, about disappointment. It was a question about being let down. A question about seeking something and coming back empty handed. It was about what happens when you try to dig in concrete with your bare hands: not only do you come back with nothing—you break your fingers in the process. And I learned this not by reading it, not by hearing it from a wise sage. I learned it by trying it again, and again, and again.
And so, the little girl’s question was essentially my own question…being asked to myself.
Ultimately, the question was about the nature of the dunya as a place of fleeting moments and temporary attachments. As a place where people are with you today, and leave or die tomorrow. But this reality hurts our very being because it goes against our nature. We, as humans, are made to seek, love, and strive for what is perfect and what is permanent. We are made to seek what’s eternal. We seek this because we were not made for this life. Our first and true home was Paradise: a land that is both perfect and eternal. So the yearning for that type of life is a part of our being. The problem is that we try to find that here. And so we create ageless creams and cosmetic surgery in a desperate attempt to hold on—in an attempt to mold this world into what it is not, and will never be.
And that’s why if we live in dunya with our hearts, it breaks us. That’s why this dunya hurts. It is because the definition of dunya, as something temporary and imperfect, goes against everything we are made to yearn for. Allah put a yearning in us that can only be fulfilled by what is eternal and perfect. By trying to find fulfillment in what is fleeting, we are running after a hologram…a mirage. We are digging into concrete with our bare hands. Seeking to turn what is by its very nature temporary into something eternal is like trying to extract from fire, water. You just get burned. Only when we stop putting our hopes in dunya, only when we stop trying to make the dunya into what it is not—and was never meant to be (jannah)—will this life finally stop breaking our hearts.
We must also realize that nothing happens without a purpose. Nothing. Not even broken hearts. Not even pain. That broken heart and that pain are lessons and signs for us. They are warnings that something is wrong. They are warnings that we need to make a change. Just like the pain of being burned is what warns us to remove our hand from the fire, emotional pain warns us that we need to make an internal change. That we need to detach. Pain is a form of forced detachment. Like the loved one who hurts you again and again and again, the more dunya hurts us, the more we inevitably detach from it. The more we inevitably stop loving it.
And pain is a pointer to our attachments. That which makes us cry, that which causes us most pain is where our false attachments lie. And it is those things which we are attached to as we should only be attached to Allah which become barriers on our path to God. But the pain itself is what makes the false attachment evident. The pain creates a condition in our life that we seek to change, and if there is anything about our condition that we don’t like, there is a divine formula to change it. God says: “Verily never will God change the condition of a people until they change what is within themselves.” (Qur’an, 13:11)
After years of falling into the same pattern of disappointments and heartbreak, I finally began to realize something profound. I had always thought that love of dunya meant being attached to material things. And I was not attached to material things. I was attached to people. I was attached to moments. I was attached to emotions. So I thought that the love of dunya just did not apply to me. What I didn’t realize was that people, moments, emotions are all a part of dunya. What I didn’t realize is that all the pain I had experienced in life was due to one thing, and one thing only: love of dunya.
As soon as I began to have that realization, a veil was lifted from my eyes. I started to see what my problem was. I was expecting this life to be what it is not, and was never meant to be: perfect. And being the idealist that I am, I was struggling with every cell in my body to make it so. It had to be perfect. And I would not stop until it was. I gave my blood, sweat, and tears to this endeavor: making the dunya into jannah. This meant expecting people around me to be perfect. Expecting my relationships to be perfect. Expecting so much from those around me and from this life. Expectations. Expectations. Expectations. And if there is one recipe for unhappiness it is that: expectations. But herein lay my fatal mistake. My mistake was not in having expectations; as humans, we should never lose hope. The problem was in *where* I was placing those expectations and that hope. At the end of the day, my hope and expectations were not being placed in God. My hope and expectations were in people, relationships, means. Ultimately, my hope was in this dunya rather than Allah.
And so I came to realize a very deep Truth. An ayah began to cross my mind. It was an ayah I had heard before, but for the first time I realized that it was actually describing me: “Those who rest not their hope on their meeting with Us, but are pleased and satisfied with the life of the present, and those who heed not Our Signs.” (Qur’an, 10:7)
By thinking that I can have everything here, my hope was not in my meeting with God. My hope was in dunya. But what does it mean to place your hope in dunya? How can this be avoided? It means when you have friends, don’t expect your friends to fill your emptiness. When you get married, don’t expect your spouse to fulfill your every need. When you’re an activist, don’t put your hope in the results. When you’re in trouble don’t depend on yourself. Don’t depend on people. Depend on God.
Seek the help of people—but realize that it is not the people (or even your own self) that can save you. Only Allah can do these things. The people are only tools, a means used by God. But they are not the source of help, aid, or salvation of any kind. Only God is. The people cannot even create the wing of a fly (22:73). And so, even while you interact with people externally, turn your heart towards God. Face Him alone, as Prophet Ibrahim (as) said so beautifully: “For me, I have set my face, firmly and truly, towards Him Who created the heavens and the earth, and never shall I give partners to Allah.” (Qur’an, 6:79)
But how does Prophet Ibrahim (as) describe his journey to that point? He studies the moon, the sun and the stars and realizes that they are not perfect. They set.
They let us down.
So Prophet Ibrahim (as) was thereby led to face Allah alone. Like him, we need to put our full hope, trust, and dependency on God. And God alone. And if we do that, we will learn what it means to finally find peace and stability of heart. Only then will the roller coaster that once defined our lives finally come to an end. That is because if our inner state is dependent on something that is by definition inconstant, that inner state will also be inconstant. If our inner state is dependent on something changing and temporary, that inner state will be in a constant state of instability, agitation, and unrest. This means that one moment we’re happy, but as soon as that which our happiness depended upon changes, our happiness also changes. And we become sad. We remain always swinging from one extreme to another and not realizing why.
We experience this emotional roller coaster because we can never find stability and lasting peace until our attachment and dependency is on what is stable and lasting. How can we hope to find constancy if what we hold on to is inconstant and perishing? In the statement of Abu Bakr is a deep illustration of this truth. After the Prophet Muhammad ﷺ died, the people went into shock and could not handle the news. But although no one loved the Prophet ﷺ like Abu Bakr, Abu Bakr understood well the only place where one’s dependency should lie. He said: “If you worshipped Muhammad, know that Muhammad is dead. But if you worshipped Allah, know that Allah never dies.”
To attain that state, don’t let your source of fulfillment be anything other than your relationship with God. Don’t let your definition of success, failure, or self-worth be anything other than your position with Him (Qur’an, 49:13). And if you do this, you become unbreakable, because your handhold is unbreakable. You become unconquerable, because your supporter can never be conquered. And you will never become empty, because your source of fulfillment is unending and never diminishes.
Looking back at the dream I had when I was 17, I wonder if that little girl was me. I wonder this because the answer I gave her was a lesson I would need to spend the next painful years of my life learning. My answer to her question of why people have to leave each other was: “because this life isn’t perfect; for if it was, what would the next be called?”
Why Do People Have to Leave Each Other? Part I | Part II
Leaving is hard. Losing is harder. So a few weeks ago I asked the question, ‘why do people have to leave each other?’ The answer took me into some of my life’s deepest realizations and struggles. But it has also led me to wonder: After people leave, do they ever return? After something we love is taken from us, does it ever come back? Is loss permanent—or just a means for a higher purpose? Is loss the End itself, or a temporary cure for our heart’s ailments?
There’s something amazing about this life. The very same worldly attribute that causes us pain is also what gives us relief: Nothing here lasts. What does that mean? It means that the breathtakingly beautiful rose in my vase will wither tomorrow. It means that my youth will neglect me. But it also means that the sadness I feel today will change tomorrow. My pain will die. My laughter won’t last forever—but neither will my tears. We say this life isn’t perfect. And it isn’t. It isn’t perfectly good. But, it also isn’t perfectly bad, either.
Allah (glorified is He) tells us in a very profound ayah (verse): “Verily with hardship comes ease.” (Qur’an, 94:5). Growing up I think I understood this ayah wrongly. I used to think it meant: after hardship comes ease. In other words, I thought life was made up of good times and bad times. After the bad times, come the good times. I thought this as if life was either all good or all bad. But that is not what the ayah is saying. The ayah is saying WITH hardship comes ease. The ease is at the same time as the hardship. This means that nothing in this life is ever all bad (or all good). In every bad situation we’re in, there is always something to be grateful for. With hardship, Allah also gives us the strength and patience to bear it.
If we study the difficult times in our lives, we will see that they were also filled with much good. The question is – which do we chose to focus on? I think the trap we fall into is rooted in this false belief that this life can be perfect—perfectly good or perfectly bad. But that’s not the nature of dunya (this life). That’s the nature of the hereafter. The hereafter is saved for the perfection of things. Jannah (paradise) is perfectly and completely good. There is no bad in it. And Jahannam (hell – may Allah protect us) is perfectly and completely bad. There is no good in it.
By not truly understanding this reality, I myself would become consumed by the momentary circumstances of my life (whether good or bad). I experienced each situation in its’ full intensity—as if it was ultimate or would never end. The way I was feeling at the moment transformed the whole world and everything in it. If I was happy in that moment, past and present, near and far, the entire universe was good for that moment. As if perfection could exist here. And the same happened with bad things. A negative state consumed everything. It became the whole world, past and present, the entire universe was bad for that moment. Because it became my entire universe, I could see nothing outside of it. Nothing else existed for that moment. If you wronged me today, it was because you no longer cared about me—not because this was one moment of a string of infinite moments which happened to be tinted that way, or because you and I and this life just aren’t perfect. What I was experiencing or feelings at that instant replaced context, because it replaced my entire vision of the world.
I think in our experiential nature, some of us may be especially susceptible to this. Perhaps that is the reason we can fall prey to the “I’ve never seen good from you” phenomenon which the Prophet ﷺ (peace be upon him) referred to in his hadith. Perhaps some of us say or feel this way because at that moment, experientially we really haven’t seen good, because our feeling at that instant replaces, defines and becomes everything. Past and present becomes rolled up into one experiential moment.
But, the true realization that nothing is complete in this life transforms our experience of it. We suddenly stop being consumed by moments. In the understanding that nothing is limitless here, that nothing here is kamil (perfect, complete), Allah enables us to step outside of moments and see them for what they are: not universes, not Reality, past and present, just that—a single moment in a string of infinite moments…and that they too shall pass.
When I cry or lose or bruise, so long as I am still alive, nothing is ultimate. So long as there is still a tomorrow, a next moment, there is hope, there is change, there is redemption. What is lost, is not lost forever.
So in answering the question of whether what is lost comes back, I study the most beautiful examples. Did Yusuf return to his father? Did Musa return to his mother? Did Hajar return to Ibrahim? Did health, wealth and children return to Ayoub? From these stories we learn a powerful and beautiful lesson: what is taken by Allah is never lost. In fact, it is only what is with Allah that remains. Everything else vanishes. Allah (swt) says, “What is with you must vanish: what is with Allah will endure. And We will certainly bestow, on those who patiently persevere, their reward according to the best of their actions.” (Quran 16:96)
So, all that is with Allah, is never lost. In fact the Prophet ﷺ has said: “You will never give up a thing for the sake of Allah (swt), but that Allah will replace it for you with something that is better for you than it.” (Ahmad) Did not Allah take the husband of Umm Salimah, only to replace him with the Prophet ﷺ?
Sometimes Allah takes in order to give. But, it’s crucial to understand that His giving is not always in the form we think we want. He knows best what is best. Allah says: “… But it is possible that you dislike a thing which is good for you, and that you love a thing which is bad for you. But Allah knows, and you know not.” (Quran 2:216)
But if something is going to be returned in one form or another, why is it taken at all? Subhan’Allah. It is in the process of ‘losing’ that we are given.
Allah gives us gifts. But then we often become dependent on those gifts, instead of Him. When He gives us money, we depend on the money—not Him. When He gives us people, we depend on people—not Him. When He gives us status or power, we depend on, and become distracted by these things. When Allah gives us health, we become deceived. We think we will never die.
Allah gives us gifts, but then we come to love them as we should only love Him. We take those gifts and inject them into our hearts, until they take over. Soon we cannot live without them. Every waking moment is spent in contemplation of them, in submission and worship to them. The mind and the heart that was created by Allah, for Allah, becomes the property of someone or something else. And then the fear comes. The fear of loss begins to cripple us. The gift—that should have remained in our hands—takes over our heart, so the fear of losing it consumes us. Soon, what was once a gift becomes a weapon of torture and a prison of our own making. How can we be freed of this? At times, in His infinite mercy, Allah frees us…by taking it away.
As a result of it being taken, we turn to Allah wholeheartedly. In that desperation and need, we ask, we beg, we pray. Through the loss, we reach a level of sincerity and humility and dependence on Him which we would otherwise not reach—had it not been taken from us. Through the loss, our hearts turn entirely to face Him.
What happens when you first give a child a toy or the new video game he’s always wanted? He becomes consumed by it. Soon he wants to do nothing else. He sees nothing else. He doesn’t want to do his work or even eat. He’s hypnotized to his own detriment. So what do you do, as a loving parent? Do you leave him to drown in his addiction and complete loss of focus and balance? No.
You take it away.
Then, once the child has regained focus of his priorities, regained sanity and balance, once things are put in their proper place in his heart and mind and life, what happens? You give the gift back. Or perhaps something better. But this time, the gift is no longer in his heart. It is in its proper place. It is in his hand.
Yet in that process of taking, the most important thing happened. The losing and regaining of the gift is inconsequential. The taking of your heedlessness, your dependence and focus on other than Him, and the replacing it with remembrance, dependence and focus only on Him was the real gift. Allah withholds to give.
And so sometimes, the ‘something better’ is the greatest gift: nearnesss to Him. Allah took the daughter of Malik Ibn Dinar in order to save him. He took his daughter, but replaced her with protection from the hell-fire and salvation from a painful life of sin and distance from Him. Through the loss of his daughter, Malik ibn Dinar was blessed with a life spent in nearness to Allah. And even that which was taken (his daughter) would remain with Malik ibn Dinar forever in Jannah.
Ibn ul Qayyim (may Allah be pleased with him) speaks about this phenomenon in his book, Madarij Al Salikin. He says: “The divine decree related to the believer is always a bounty, even if it is in the form of withholding (something that is desired); and it is a blessing, even if it appears to be a trial and an affliction that has befallen him; it is in reality a cure, even though it appears to be a disease!”
So to the question, ‘once something is lost, does it return?’ the answer is yes. It returns. Sometimes here, sometime there, sometimes in a different, better form. But the greatest gift lies beneath the taking and the returning. Allah tells us: “Say, ‘In the bounty of Allah and in His mercy – in that let them rejoice; it is better than what they hoard.’” (Quran, 10:58)
oh!! sy sgt suka artikel ni
http://www.suhaibwebb.com/relationships/marriage-family/spouse/people-leave-each-other-but-do-they-return/
Why Do People Have to Leave Each Other? Part I | Part II
When I was 17 years old, I had a dream. I dreamt that I was sitting inside a masjid and a little girl walked up to ask me a question. She asked me: “Why do people have to leave each other?” The question was a personal one, but it seemed clear to me why the question was chosen for me.
I was one to get attached.
Ever since I was a child, this temperament was clear. While other children in preschool could easily recover once their parents left, I could not. My tears, once set in motion, did not stop easily. As I grew up, I learned to become attached to everything around me. From the time I was in first grade, I needed a best friend. As I got older, any fall-out with a friend shattered me. I couldn’t let go of anything. People, places, events, photographs, moments—even outcomes became objects of strong attachment. If things didn’t work out the way I wanted or imagined they should, I was devastated. And disappointment for me wasn’t an ordinary emotion. It was catastrophic. Once let down, I never fully recovered. I could never forget, and the break never mended. Like a glass vase that you place on the edge of a table, once broken, the pieces never quite fit again.
But the problem wasn’t with the vase. Or even that the vases kept breaking. The problem was that I kept putting them on the edge of tables. Through my attachments, I was dependent on my relationships to fulfill my needs. I allowed those relationships to define my happiness or my sadness, my fulfillment or my emptiness, my security, and even my self-worth. And so, like the vase placed where it will inevitably fall, through those dependencies I set myself up for disappointment. I set myself up to be broken. And that’s exactly what I found: one disappointment, one break after another.
But the people who broke me were not to blame any more than gravity can be blamed for breaking the vase. We can’t blame the laws of physics when a twig snaps because we leaned on it for support. The twig was never created to carry us.
Our weight was only meant to be carried by God. We are told in the Quran: “…whoever rejects evil and believes in God hath grasped the most trustworthy hand-hold, that never breaks. And God hears and knows all things.” (Qur’an 2: 256)
There is a crucial lesson in this verse: that there is only one handhold that never breaks. There is only one place where we can lay our dependencies. There is only one relationship that should define our self-worth and only one source from which to seek our ultimate happiness, fulfillment, and security. That place is God.
But this world is all about seeking those things everywhere else. Some of us seek it in our careers, some seek it in wealth, some in status. Some, like me, seek it in our relationships. In her book, Eat, Pray, Love, Elizabeth Gilbert describes her own quest for happiness. She describes moving in and out of relationships, and even traveling the globe in search of this fulfillment. She seeks that fulfillment—unsuccessfully—in her relationships, in meditation, even in food.
And that’s exactly where I spent much of my own life: seeking a way to fill my inner void. So it was no wonder that the little girl in my dream asked me this question. It was a question about loss, about disappointment. It was a question about being let down. A question about seeking something and coming back empty handed. It was about what happens when you try to dig in concrete with your bare hands: not only do you come back with nothing—you break your fingers in the process. And I learned this not by reading it, not by hearing it from a wise sage. I learned it by trying it again, and again, and again.
And so, the little girl’s question was essentially my own question…being asked to myself.
Ultimately, the question was about the nature of the dunya as a place of fleeting moments and temporary attachments. As a place where people are with you today, and leave or die tomorrow. But this reality hurts our very being because it goes against our nature. We, as humans, are made to seek, love, and strive for what is perfect and what is permanent. We are made to seek what’s eternal. We seek this because we were not made for this life. Our first and true home was Paradise: a land that is both perfect and eternal. So the yearning for that type of life is a part of our being. The problem is that we try to find that here. And so we create ageless creams and cosmetic surgery in a desperate attempt to hold on—in an attempt to mold this world into what it is not, and will never be.
And that’s why if we live in dunya with our hearts, it breaks us. That’s why this dunya hurts. It is because the definition of dunya, as something temporary and imperfect, goes against everything we are made to yearn for. Allah put a yearning in us that can only be fulfilled by what is eternal and perfect. By trying to find fulfillment in what is fleeting, we are running after a hologram…a mirage. We are digging into concrete with our bare hands. Seeking to turn what is by its very nature temporary into something eternal is like trying to extract from fire, water. You just get burned. Only when we stop putting our hopes in dunya, only when we stop trying to make the dunya into what it is not—and was never meant to be (jannah)—will this life finally stop breaking our hearts.
We must also realize that nothing happens without a purpose. Nothing. Not even broken hearts. Not even pain. That broken heart and that pain are lessons and signs for us. They are warnings that something is wrong. They are warnings that we need to make a change. Just like the pain of being burned is what warns us to remove our hand from the fire, emotional pain warns us that we need to make an internal change. That we need to detach. Pain is a form of forced detachment. Like the loved one who hurts you again and again and again, the more dunya hurts us, the more we inevitably detach from it. The more we inevitably stop loving it.
And pain is a pointer to our attachments. That which makes us cry, that which causes us most pain is where our false attachments lie. And it is those things which we are attached to as we should only be attached to Allah which become barriers on our path to God. But the pain itself is what makes the false attachment evident. The pain creates a condition in our life that we seek to change, and if there is anything about our condition that we don’t like, there is a divine formula to change it. God says: “Verily never will God change the condition of a people until they change what is within themselves.” (Qur’an, 13:11)
After years of falling into the same pattern of disappointments and heartbreak, I finally began to realize something profound. I had always thought that love of dunya meant being attached to material things. And I was not attached to material things. I was attached to people. I was attached to moments. I was attached to emotions. So I thought that the love of dunya just did not apply to me. What I didn’t realize was that people, moments, emotions are all a part of dunya. What I didn’t realize is that all the pain I had experienced in life was due to one thing, and one thing only: love of dunya.
As soon as I began to have that realization, a veil was lifted from my eyes. I started to see what my problem was. I was expecting this life to be what it is not, and was never meant to be: perfect. And being the idealist that I am, I was struggling with every cell in my body to make it so. It had to be perfect. And I would not stop until it was. I gave my blood, sweat, and tears to this endeavor: making the dunya into jannah. This meant expecting people around me to be perfect. Expecting my relationships to be perfect. Expecting so much from those around me and from this life. Expectations. Expectations. Expectations. And if there is one recipe for unhappiness it is that: expectations. But herein lay my fatal mistake. My mistake was not in having expectations; as humans, we should never lose hope. The problem was in *where* I was placing those expectations and that hope. At the end of the day, my hope and expectations were not being placed in God. My hope and expectations were in people, relationships, means. Ultimately, my hope was in this dunya rather than Allah.
And so I came to realize a very deep Truth. An ayah began to cross my mind. It was an ayah I had heard before, but for the first time I realized that it was actually describing me: “Those who rest not their hope on their meeting with Us, but are pleased and satisfied with the life of the present, and those who heed not Our Signs.” (Qur’an, 10:7)
By thinking that I can have everything here, my hope was not in my meeting with God. My hope was in dunya. But what does it mean to place your hope in dunya? How can this be avoided? It means when you have friends, don’t expect your friends to fill your emptiness. When you get married, don’t expect your spouse to fulfill your every need. When you’re an activist, don’t put your hope in the results. When you’re in trouble don’t depend on yourself. Don’t depend on people. Depend on God.
Seek the help of people—but realize that it is not the people (or even your own self) that can save you. Only Allah can do these things. The people are only tools, a means used by God. But they are not the source of help, aid, or salvation of any kind. Only God is. The people cannot even create the wing of a fly (22:73). And so, even while you interact with people externally, turn your heart towards God. Face Him alone, as Prophet Ibrahim (as) said so beautifully: “For me, I have set my face, firmly and truly, towards Him Who created the heavens and the earth, and never shall I give partners to Allah.” (Qur’an, 6:79)
But how does Prophet Ibrahim (as) describe his journey to that point? He studies the moon, the sun and the stars and realizes that they are not perfect. They set.
They let us down.
So Prophet Ibrahim (as) was thereby led to face Allah alone. Like him, we need to put our full hope, trust, and dependency on God. And God alone. And if we do that, we will learn what it means to finally find peace and stability of heart. Only then will the roller coaster that once defined our lives finally come to an end. That is because if our inner state is dependent on something that is by definition inconstant, that inner state will also be inconstant. If our inner state is dependent on something changing and temporary, that inner state will be in a constant state of instability, agitation, and unrest. This means that one moment we’re happy, but as soon as that which our happiness depended upon changes, our happiness also changes. And we become sad. We remain always swinging from one extreme to another and not realizing why.
We experience this emotional roller coaster because we can never find stability and lasting peace until our attachment and dependency is on what is stable and lasting. How can we hope to find constancy if what we hold on to is inconstant and perishing? In the statement of Abu Bakr is a deep illustration of this truth. After the Prophet Muhammad ﷺ died, the people went into shock and could not handle the news. But although no one loved the Prophet ﷺ like Abu Bakr, Abu Bakr understood well the only place where one’s dependency should lie. He said: “If you worshipped Muhammad, know that Muhammad is dead. But if you worshipped Allah, know that Allah never dies.”
To attain that state, don’t let your source of fulfillment be anything other than your relationship with God. Don’t let your definition of success, failure, or self-worth be anything other than your position with Him (Qur’an, 49:13). And if you do this, you become unbreakable, because your handhold is unbreakable. You become unconquerable, because your supporter can never be conquered. And you will never become empty, because your source of fulfillment is unending and never diminishes.
Looking back at the dream I had when I was 17, I wonder if that little girl was me. I wonder this because the answer I gave her was a lesson I would need to spend the next painful years of my life learning. My answer to her question of why people have to leave each other was: “because this life isn’t perfect; for if it was, what would the next be called?”
Why Do People Have to Leave Each Other? Part I | Part II
Leaving is hard. Losing is harder. So a few weeks ago I asked the question, ‘why do people have to leave each other?’ The answer took me into some of my life’s deepest realizations and struggles. But it has also led me to wonder: After people leave, do they ever return? After something we love is taken from us, does it ever come back? Is loss permanent—or just a means for a higher purpose? Is loss the End itself, or a temporary cure for our heart’s ailments?
There’s something amazing about this life. The very same worldly attribute that causes us pain is also what gives us relief: Nothing here lasts. What does that mean? It means that the breathtakingly beautiful rose in my vase will wither tomorrow. It means that my youth will neglect me. But it also means that the sadness I feel today will change tomorrow. My pain will die. My laughter won’t last forever—but neither will my tears. We say this life isn’t perfect. And it isn’t. It isn’t perfectly good. But, it also isn’t perfectly bad, either.
Allah (glorified is He) tells us in a very profound ayah (verse): “Verily with hardship comes ease.” (Qur’an, 94:5). Growing up I think I understood this ayah wrongly. I used to think it meant: after hardship comes ease. In other words, I thought life was made up of good times and bad times. After the bad times, come the good times. I thought this as if life was either all good or all bad. But that is not what the ayah is saying. The ayah is saying WITH hardship comes ease. The ease is at the same time as the hardship. This means that nothing in this life is ever all bad (or all good). In every bad situation we’re in, there is always something to be grateful for. With hardship, Allah also gives us the strength and patience to bear it.
If we study the difficult times in our lives, we will see that they were also filled with much good. The question is – which do we chose to focus on? I think the trap we fall into is rooted in this false belief that this life can be perfect—perfectly good or perfectly bad. But that’s not the nature of dunya (this life). That’s the nature of the hereafter. The hereafter is saved for the perfection of things. Jannah (paradise) is perfectly and completely good. There is no bad in it. And Jahannam (hell – may Allah protect us) is perfectly and completely bad. There is no good in it.
By not truly understanding this reality, I myself would become consumed by the momentary circumstances of my life (whether good or bad). I experienced each situation in its’ full intensity—as if it was ultimate or would never end. The way I was feeling at the moment transformed the whole world and everything in it. If I was happy in that moment, past and present, near and far, the entire universe was good for that moment. As if perfection could exist here. And the same happened with bad things. A negative state consumed everything. It became the whole world, past and present, the entire universe was bad for that moment. Because it became my entire universe, I could see nothing outside of it. Nothing else existed for that moment. If you wronged me today, it was because you no longer cared about me—not because this was one moment of a string of infinite moments which happened to be tinted that way, or because you and I and this life just aren’t perfect. What I was experiencing or feelings at that instant replaced context, because it replaced my entire vision of the world.
I think in our experiential nature, some of us may be especially susceptible to this. Perhaps that is the reason we can fall prey to the “I’ve never seen good from you” phenomenon which the Prophet ﷺ (peace be upon him) referred to in his hadith. Perhaps some of us say or feel this way because at that moment, experientially we really haven’t seen good, because our feeling at that instant replaces, defines and becomes everything. Past and present becomes rolled up into one experiential moment.
But, the true realization that nothing is complete in this life transforms our experience of it. We suddenly stop being consumed by moments. In the understanding that nothing is limitless here, that nothing here is kamil (perfect, complete), Allah enables us to step outside of moments and see them for what they are: not universes, not Reality, past and present, just that—a single moment in a string of infinite moments…and that they too shall pass.
When I cry or lose or bruise, so long as I am still alive, nothing is ultimate. So long as there is still a tomorrow, a next moment, there is hope, there is change, there is redemption. What is lost, is not lost forever.
So in answering the question of whether what is lost comes back, I study the most beautiful examples. Did Yusuf return to his father? Did Musa return to his mother? Did Hajar return to Ibrahim? Did health, wealth and children return to Ayoub? From these stories we learn a powerful and beautiful lesson: what is taken by Allah is never lost. In fact, it is only what is with Allah that remains. Everything else vanishes. Allah (swt) says, “What is with you must vanish: what is with Allah will endure. And We will certainly bestow, on those who patiently persevere, their reward according to the best of their actions.” (Quran 16:96)
So, all that is with Allah, is never lost. In fact the Prophet ﷺ has said: “You will never give up a thing for the sake of Allah (swt), but that Allah will replace it for you with something that is better for you than it.” (Ahmad) Did not Allah take the husband of Umm Salimah, only to replace him with the Prophet ﷺ?
Sometimes Allah takes in order to give. But, it’s crucial to understand that His giving is not always in the form we think we want. He knows best what is best. Allah says: “… But it is possible that you dislike a thing which is good for you, and that you love a thing which is bad for you. But Allah knows, and you know not.” (Quran 2:216)
But if something is going to be returned in one form or another, why is it taken at all? Subhan’Allah. It is in the process of ‘losing’ that we are given.
Allah gives us gifts. But then we often become dependent on those gifts, instead of Him. When He gives us money, we depend on the money—not Him. When He gives us people, we depend on people—not Him. When He gives us status or power, we depend on, and become distracted by these things. When Allah gives us health, we become deceived. We think we will never die.
Allah gives us gifts, but then we come to love them as we should only love Him. We take those gifts and inject them into our hearts, until they take over. Soon we cannot live without them. Every waking moment is spent in contemplation of them, in submission and worship to them. The mind and the heart that was created by Allah, for Allah, becomes the property of someone or something else. And then the fear comes. The fear of loss begins to cripple us. The gift—that should have remained in our hands—takes over our heart, so the fear of losing it consumes us. Soon, what was once a gift becomes a weapon of torture and a prison of our own making. How can we be freed of this? At times, in His infinite mercy, Allah frees us…by taking it away.
As a result of it being taken, we turn to Allah wholeheartedly. In that desperation and need, we ask, we beg, we pray. Through the loss, we reach a level of sincerity and humility and dependence on Him which we would otherwise not reach—had it not been taken from us. Through the loss, our hearts turn entirely to face Him.
What happens when you first give a child a toy or the new video game he’s always wanted? He becomes consumed by it. Soon he wants to do nothing else. He sees nothing else. He doesn’t want to do his work or even eat. He’s hypnotized to his own detriment. So what do you do, as a loving parent? Do you leave him to drown in his addiction and complete loss of focus and balance? No.
You take it away.
Then, once the child has regained focus of his priorities, regained sanity and balance, once things are put in their proper place in his heart and mind and life, what happens? You give the gift back. Or perhaps something better. But this time, the gift is no longer in his heart. It is in its proper place. It is in his hand.
Yet in that process of taking, the most important thing happened. The losing and regaining of the gift is inconsequential. The taking of your heedlessness, your dependence and focus on other than Him, and the replacing it with remembrance, dependence and focus only on Him was the real gift. Allah withholds to give.
And so sometimes, the ‘something better’ is the greatest gift: nearnesss to Him. Allah took the daughter of Malik Ibn Dinar in order to save him. He took his daughter, but replaced her with protection from the hell-fire and salvation from a painful life of sin and distance from Him. Through the loss of his daughter, Malik ibn Dinar was blessed with a life spent in nearness to Allah. And even that which was taken (his daughter) would remain with Malik ibn Dinar forever in Jannah.
Ibn ul Qayyim (may Allah be pleased with him) speaks about this phenomenon in his book, Madarij Al Salikin. He says: “The divine decree related to the believer is always a bounty, even if it is in the form of withholding (something that is desired); and it is a blessing, even if it appears to be a trial and an affliction that has befallen him; it is in reality a cure, even though it appears to be a disease!”
So to the question, ‘once something is lost, does it return?’ the answer is yes. It returns. Sometimes here, sometime there, sometimes in a different, better form. But the greatest gift lies beneath the taking and the returning. Allah tells us: “Say, ‘In the bounty of Allah and in His mercy – in that let them rejoice; it is better than what they hoard.’” (Quran, 10:58)
oh!! sy sgt suka artikel ni
http://www.suhaibwebb.com/relationships/marriage-family/spouse/people-leave-each-other-but-do-they-return/
Buffer zone
Lamanya , besarya buffer zone saya... stlh hampur 2 tahun di sini, baru saya rasa selesa, rasa real dan berpijak di bumi nyata. hampir 2 tahun utk sy sesauikan masa utk berada di zon selesa...skrg, baru mula mencari amalan2 lama yg sy dah tinggalkan sejak pindah ke OZ--mathurat, salawat tafrijiayah contohnya... 2 tahun mempu melupakan apa yg sy amalkan sblm ni... Dalam seminggu lepas, jenuh sy mengingat2 kembali matan salawat tafrijiyyah itu, rasa kecewa bila gagal melakukannya...hari ni, terbaca dan terdetik ttgnya, lalu dgn mudahnya sy dapat semula dari internet. Dan sekilat itu juga sy dpt mengingat kembali sepenuhnya matannya.. Alhamdulillah...
Selasa, Oktober 18, 2011
Ujian hidup
Ujian bertali arus datang..yang beratnya, terpaksa kuharungi bersendirian. Dan ujian ini mempengaruhi segala sudut kehidupan yg lain- study, family etc- kerana ia melibatkan emosi
Meeting sv
Tidak seperti hari 'meeting dgn SV' yang lain, hari ni , sy tidak berdebar2 spt selalu... biasanya dari sehari sebelumnya sy dah mula gelisah, malamnya tidur tak lelap. Tapi sejak semalam, sy tidak rasa berdebar, tidur juga boleh nyenyak, dn pagi ini, ditambah dengarn kesibukan menyediakan nasi lemak utk menyambut Kak Rin & Dr Risman balik dr Malaysia (utk konvokeyen UIA), sy tidak berdebar. perasaan " I don't care' menguasai diri... Dah jenuh rasanya saya membuang masa, menyesali sikap sendiri sejak akhir akhir ini...tiada hasil. Saya tahu sy membuang masa, tapi sy tak peduli. Saya lebih bahagis buat apa yanbg saya nak buat...
Dan hasilnya, masa meeting, memang saya kena 'warning' dgn SV...dia kata, dia heran selama ni dia letakkan sy sbg top student dalam group pelajar dia, tp sejak ogos, sy tak de progress... apa masalah saya? Lama juga berbincang & bersembang dgnnya..hampir 2 jam... mungkin dbb MyPSA? Kalau sy tak perform, susahlah dia nk bg contoh kat student lain katanya...
Akhirnya kata sepakat diambil, perjumpaan setiap hari, 5 min pun cukup, tp jmpa setiap hari, utk habiskan case study in 1 week. Happy..
Dan hasilnya, masa meeting, memang saya kena 'warning' dgn SV...dia kata, dia heran selama ni dia letakkan sy sbg top student dalam group pelajar dia, tp sejak ogos, sy tak de progress... apa masalah saya? Lama juga berbincang & bersembang dgnnya..hampir 2 jam... mungkin dbb MyPSA? Kalau sy tak perform, susahlah dia nk bg contoh kat student lain katanya...
Akhirnya kata sepakat diambil, perjumpaan setiap hari, 5 min pun cukup, tp jmpa setiap hari, utk habiskan case study in 1 week. Happy..
Selasa, Oktober 04, 2011
Rabu, September 21, 2011
Meeting, makan
Semalam, kami beramai2 menjamu selera di SIMLab baru ni dgn Abrar.
Meeting individual hari ni tak panjang, tapo group meeting mmg panjang, di buat di gazebo depan library. SV expect 4 A ranked paper from each students next year. Fuhhh...
Dan kami boleh berkongsi buat paper
Meeting individual hari ni tak panjang, tapo group meeting mmg panjang, di buat di gazebo depan library. SV expect 4 A ranked paper from each students next year. Fuhhh...
Dan kami boleh berkongsi buat paper
Selasa, September 06, 2011
Amalinadan Li balik Malaysia..
Setelah hampir 2 bulan di sini, tiba masanya Na & Li kembali ke Msia.. wp demam, gagahi jg ke luar hari ni//
Episod demam
ari pagi sambut bdy yaang, sy mula demam, hingga hari ini 6/9 terdampar di katil dlm letric blanket...dgn hati yg sungguh gundah gulana sbb kera berderetttttttt tak siapp..
Happy 7th Birthday Yayang
birthday ayang ke7 disambuat meriah bersekali dgn sambutan raya diruma kami...bnarnya birtday Yayang ialah pd 14 Ogos yg lepas, tp masa tu saya & suami di US dan bulan puasa pula.. yayang sedih, jd sy berjanji utk adaan majlis birthday dia slps raya...
Aidilfitri 2011 Adelaide
raya pertama, sembahyang r di Bonuthon Park, then beraya ke rumah kawan2 hingga malam. Yayang melepek demam lepas kena embun pag yg sgt sejuk di Park. Demamnya yg hampir kebah, menjengah kembali.
aya ke2 dan ke 3 dah masuk ofis semuala
Hari Sabtu buat sambuatan raya MyPSA di park lagi
aya ke2 dan ke 3 dah masuk ofis semuala
Hari Sabtu buat sambuatan raya MyPSA di park lagi
Sabtu, Ogos 20, 2011
Winter trip 2011
Bergabung dengan family Dr Risman, ke Melboune bermain salji buat kali kedua selepas setahun lepas...pengalaman yang seronok wp penat...
Melancholy
Hari ni wp hari Sabtu, dah berpagi2 ke kampus City East untuk mengikuti Bengkel MS Word- Maximizing use of MS office for thesis writing...workshop yg menarik..dan buat pertama kalinya bertugas kutip yuran, update senarai ahli etc...Sementara menunggu program seterusnya utk hari ini, aku memerap dalam bilik lab PC ni, kembali menulis setelah lama bersara...Kurang sejam lagi, prorgam Ceramah ramadhan oleh Ustaz Fathul Bari (ulama muda umno) akan bermula...
Sebenarnya hari ni, persaanku berkecamuk...lebih tepat..melancholy...sedih, tak de semangat, tak de hati, kosong etc. Bermula dr peristiwa2 di ofis, kepada yg di rumah, ketidakpuasan hati, sms yang diterma, response dr 'sahabat', semuanya melemahkan semangat....akan kuharungi saja apa yg akan terjadi di hadapanku....tiada apa2 harapan...tiada apa2 perasaan....
Sebenarnya hari ni, persaanku berkecamuk...lebih tepat..melancholy...sedih, tak de semangat, tak de hati, kosong etc. Bermula dr peristiwa2 di ofis, kepada yg di rumah, ketidakpuasan hati, sms yang diterma, response dr 'sahabat', semuanya melemahkan semangat....akan kuharungi saja apa yg akan terjadi di hadapanku....tiada apa2 harapan...tiada apa2 perasaan....
Sabtu, Ogos 06, 2011
US Trip
Hari ni masuk hari ke3 AMCIS 2011 di Detroit Michigan...Alhamdulillah semalam sy telah membentangkan paper disamping menjadi chairperson kepada satu sesi..Struggling with body clock
Selasa, Julai 12, 2011
Isnin, Julai 11, 2011
Selasa, Jun 21, 2011
Etika Menulis
Apa perasaan anda apabila membaca satu artikel ilmiah yang anda dapati, isi kandungannya di'curi' dari usaha titik peluh anda? Dan anda perlu tahu bahawa, penulisan ilmiah adalah tiket naik pangkat dalam dunia akademik...Dalam kata lain, hasil usaha anda telah di'paten'kan dan didaftarkan atas nama orang lain...
NVivo workshop
10/6 yang lepas, sy mengikuti workshop NVIvo 9 dgn bayaran AUD150 utk sehari workshop basic. Ohhh sungguh menarik rupanya Nvivo...macam2 ada!!!
Kunjungan sehari ke Melbourne- visa US
Pagi2 16 Jun, berangkat ke Melbourne dgn Tiger , utk urusan interview visa USA. Anak2 tinggal, dijaga oleh Aishah dan Amirah yang datang sejak 9pm semalam. Sempat buat pizza dan roti utk anak2 & adik2 tu makan...Pemergian ke airport dihantar oleh Suhaomi, yg menghantar kembarnya Suhaizan, yg kebetulannya ada interview case studynya di Melbourna pada hari yang sama. Kapalterbang kami boarding waktu yg sama, tp flight berbeza. Suhaizan sewa kereta di Melbourne sehari AUD53 (murahnya!), saya dan suami tumpang sekaki..setiba di Melbourne, ambil kereta dr "Budget" dan terus mengahala ke destinasi masing2. Kami ke St Kilda Road. Sampai tepat masa, cuma sblm tu, kelam kabut cari post office buat bayaran visa AUD 140 seorang, dan beli special envelope, yang harga nya AUD25(duh!mahalnya).
Selepas dapat parking, terkejar2 ke consulat US, kelihatan lbhkurang 8 org sedang beratur. Proses yang sangat ketat pun bermula....Pintu masuk sentiasa terkunci, bila officer buka pintu dr dalam, sekali masuk hanya dibenarkan 4 org shj. Procedure bila smpai di dalam, register dlm komputer, pakai nametag yg digenerate dr komputer td, serah semua barang termasuk handphone, handbag etc. Yang dibenarkan bawa hanya borang dan purse..then, dibawa naik ke Tingkat 6. Keluat lif, beratur lg utk pengesahan masuk ke ruang menunggu. Sekali lagi checking, ticking nama, scan, etc. Yang kelakar, eupanya sy & suami terrukar nametag, patut la officer tu panggil husb wan, dan panggil sy ahmad..ha ha..(bukan kami yg pakai sendiri, tp dipakaikan masa di bawah td).. tepi dinding, tersergam bendera US dan gambar Obama dan 2 org kuat US yg lain-Hillary & sapa??.. Diruang menunggu, rakyat Us & rakyat asing di separatekan tmpat duduk..so, tgu lah nombor dipanggil. Urusan2 berjalan hanya di 'windows' yang diwujudkan.. Masa registration di kaunter 1, semua cap jari 10 jari tangan di ambil...duduk lagi, tgu untuk interview pulak di kaunter 5. Masa interview, soalan yg ditanya antaranya pekerjaan, tajuk research, ada rekod jenayah/tak..etc. Agaknya, sbb dia dgr jawatan si suami sbg AVP company, bila sy bgtahu sy mengajar di uni, terus sy pula diberinya title uni professor..hu hu.(Amiin). Akhirnya paspot kami di ambil, akan di pos bersama visa in few days. Sehabis urusan, kami turun mengambil2 gambar di perkarangan ofis, tetiba, AFP yang duk perhati sejak awal, datang bertanya kenapa amik gmbar kat situ...kami buat2 terkejut...kenapa takleh? dia kata mmg takleh...akhirnya, spt biasa, berbualamn perdek bertukar jd cerita pangjang...termasuk pasal beli oddessey dr org kuat AFP etc, diorg pulak sempat la amik segala detail, ala,=mat, no tepon kami segala...
HAbis urusan visa, kami menuju ke Melb city semula, jual camera dgn harga AUD1600 kat sorang Mat Saleh yg sungguh baik & sopan, pastu ambik Suhaizan, terus ke Maslusia Hall utk keluar makan dgn Hasnizul. Terserempak dgn Fini, terus ke bilik dia & Dati yg tgh study, sempat begambar ...
Makan di kedai makan Padang--selera Bundo....sedappp.sbb laparrrr..lapar sgt smpai sakitttt kepala sangat.
Then, terus ke rumah K Hidayah. sembang, makan etc, then ke airport nak balik Adelaide 8pm. sblm tu sempat singgah KFC beli sakan. Tetiba di terminal Tiger, cam pelik...rupanya flight cancelled!!! Terpaksa lah mengalah wp geram, call k Hidayah, dia dtg amik tidur rmh dia. Anak2 mlm ni tidur rmh K Rin Dr Risman. Sempat la kirim KFC melalui Ijan utk disampaikan pd Syed & r Risman. Kami tidur d rmh K Hidayah sementara flight pukul 12 pm esok tghari...Malam tido lewat sbb sembang sakan..
Selepas dapat parking, terkejar2 ke consulat US, kelihatan lbhkurang 8 org sedang beratur. Proses yang sangat ketat pun bermula....Pintu masuk sentiasa terkunci, bila officer buka pintu dr dalam, sekali masuk hanya dibenarkan 4 org shj. Procedure bila smpai di dalam, register dlm komputer, pakai nametag yg digenerate dr komputer td, serah semua barang termasuk handphone, handbag etc. Yang dibenarkan bawa hanya borang dan purse..then, dibawa naik ke Tingkat 6. Keluat lif, beratur lg utk pengesahan masuk ke ruang menunggu. Sekali lagi checking, ticking nama, scan, etc. Yang kelakar, eupanya sy & suami terrukar nametag, patut la officer tu panggil husb wan, dan panggil sy ahmad..ha ha..(bukan kami yg pakai sendiri, tp dipakaikan masa di bawah td).. tepi dinding, tersergam bendera US dan gambar Obama dan 2 org kuat US yg lain-Hillary & sapa??.. Diruang menunggu, rakyat Us & rakyat asing di separatekan tmpat duduk..so, tgu lah nombor dipanggil. Urusan2 berjalan hanya di 'windows' yang diwujudkan.. Masa registration di kaunter 1, semua cap jari 10 jari tangan di ambil...duduk lagi, tgu untuk interview pulak di kaunter 5. Masa interview, soalan yg ditanya antaranya pekerjaan, tajuk research, ada rekod jenayah/tak..etc. Agaknya, sbb dia dgr jawatan si suami sbg AVP company, bila sy bgtahu sy mengajar di uni, terus sy pula diberinya title uni professor..hu hu.(Amiin). Akhirnya paspot kami di ambil, akan di pos bersama visa in few days. Sehabis urusan, kami turun mengambil2 gambar di perkarangan ofis, tetiba, AFP yang duk perhati sejak awal, datang bertanya kenapa amik gmbar kat situ...kami buat2 terkejut...kenapa takleh? dia kata mmg takleh...akhirnya, spt biasa, berbualamn perdek bertukar jd cerita pangjang...termasuk pasal beli oddessey dr org kuat AFP etc, diorg pulak sempat la amik segala detail, ala,=mat, no tepon kami segala...
HAbis urusan visa, kami menuju ke Melb city semula, jual camera dgn harga AUD1600 kat sorang Mat Saleh yg sungguh baik & sopan, pastu ambik Suhaizan, terus ke Maslusia Hall utk keluar makan dgn Hasnizul. Terserempak dgn Fini, terus ke bilik dia & Dati yg tgh study, sempat begambar ...
Makan di kedai makan Padang--selera Bundo....sedappp.sbb laparrrr..lapar sgt smpai sakitttt kepala sangat.
Then, terus ke rumah K Hidayah. sembang, makan etc, then ke airport nak balik Adelaide 8pm. sblm tu sempat singgah KFC beli sakan. Tetiba di terminal Tiger, cam pelik...rupanya flight cancelled!!! Terpaksa lah mengalah wp geram, call k Hidayah, dia dtg amik tidur rmh dia. Anak2 mlm ni tidur rmh K Rin Dr Risman. Sempat la kirim KFC melalui Ijan utk disampaikan pd Syed & r Risman. Kami tidur d rmh K Hidayah sementara flight pukul 12 pm esok tghari...Malam tido lewat sbb sembang sakan..
Rabu, Jun 08, 2011
20 hari lagi...
hari ni 8/6 2011/ Aku akan sekali lagi menjenguk Malaysia, buat kali ke3@4 slps bergelar pelajar PhD. Kali pertama balik utk data collection, kali ke 2 dan 3, transit to & from Shanghai dan kali ni, utk membentang kertas kerja di IBIMA conference. Taikh 27/6, akan berangkat ke KL , pulang semula 9/10/2011. Kepulangan yang agak lama, mengambil kesempatan utk menyelesaikan byk perkara...
Jumaat, Jun 03, 2011
ERA dihapuskan?
ERA (Excellence in Research for Australia) http://core.edu.au/index.php/categories/conference%20rankings ada ranking utk conferences and journal, tp katanya nak dihapuskan
http://minister.innovation.gov.au/Carr/MediaReleases/Pages/IMPROVEMENTSTOEXCELLENCEINRESEARCHFORAUSTRALIA.aspx
Kenapa? katanya sbb:
sekarang ni kenapa yg drop bila mana banyak bidang-2 yg dah hilang cth sv mas kata
mnima8 (4:00 PM): faculty Discipline of IT kat VU dah ditutup
assatirah (4:00 PM): ??
mnima8 (4:00 PM): tu diaorg kata ERA ni tak leh digunakan sebab tak fair utk Uni yg kecik-2 mcm VU
mnima8 (4:00 PM): ni isu pasal
assatirah (4:00 PM): ic
mnima8 (4:00 PM): penggunaan ERA ni
mnima8 (4:01 PM): upanya kat sini semua uni bergantung pd International student
mnima8 (4:01 PM): n fund goverment utk research
assatirah (4:01 PM): ha?? ye ke
mnima8 (4:02 PM): yup itu SV mas yg kata
assatirah (4:02 PM): pandai, bijak btul diorg yer
mnima8 (4:02 PM): sori kawan mas yg jd lecture kat deakin ni
mnima8 (4:02 PM): yg bagi tau
mnima8 (4:02 PM): sebab kita bayar diaorg 3 kali ganda
mnima8 (4:02 PM): daripada student biasa mereka
assatirah (4:02 PM): ic
assatirah (4:02 PM): isk isk isk
mnima8 (4:03 PM): n funding pulak diberi mengikut uni mana yg banyak buat research
mnima8 (4:03 PM): so nak jd cerita uni kecik macm VU
mnima8 (4:03 PM): kata diaorg memang selalu lah dpt budget ciput sebab bila guna ERA ranking diaorg selalu kalah lah
mnima8 (4:04 PM): so tu yg diaorg mansuhkan ERA sebab kebanyakan yg dpt ERA tu sure lah uni macam Melbourne Uni, Australaia uni
mnima8 (4:04 PM): gitulah lebih kurang
http://minister.innovation.gov.au/Carr/MediaReleases/Pages/IMPROVEMENTSTOEXCELLENCEINRESEARCHFORAUSTRALIA.aspx
Kenapa? katanya sbb:
sekarang ni kenapa yg drop bila mana banyak bidang-2 yg dah hilang cth sv mas kata
mnima8 (4:00 PM): faculty Discipline of IT kat VU dah ditutup
assatirah (4:00 PM): ??
mnima8 (4:00 PM): tu diaorg kata ERA ni tak leh digunakan sebab tak fair utk Uni yg kecik-2 mcm VU
mnima8 (4:00 PM): ni isu pasal
assatirah (4:00 PM): ic
mnima8 (4:00 PM): penggunaan ERA ni
mnima8 (4:01 PM): upanya kat sini semua uni bergantung pd International student
mnima8 (4:01 PM): n fund goverment utk research
assatirah (4:01 PM): ha?? ye ke
mnima8 (4:02 PM): yup itu SV mas yg kata
assatirah (4:02 PM): pandai, bijak btul diorg yer
mnima8 (4:02 PM): sori kawan mas yg jd lecture kat deakin ni
mnima8 (4:02 PM): yg bagi tau
mnima8 (4:02 PM): sebab kita bayar diaorg 3 kali ganda
mnima8 (4:02 PM): daripada student biasa mereka
assatirah (4:02 PM): ic
assatirah (4:02 PM): isk isk isk
mnima8 (4:03 PM): n funding pulak diberi mengikut uni mana yg banyak buat research
mnima8 (4:03 PM): so nak jd cerita uni kecik macm VU
mnima8 (4:03 PM): kata diaorg memang selalu lah dpt budget ciput sebab bila guna ERA ranking diaorg selalu kalah lah
mnima8 (4:04 PM): so tu yg diaorg mansuhkan ERA sebab kebanyakan yg dpt ERA tu sure lah uni macam Melbourne Uni, Australaia uni
mnima8 (4:04 PM): gitulah lebih kurang
svku
Ni pulak cerita pasal sv saya. dia mmg seorang yang cerdik, think out of the bos, berjiwa besar dan selalu think big.
Ptg smlm, dah lewat patang dia call sy di bilik, suruh dtg ke opis dia, utk edit draft paper conference public law di msia, yg sy forward utk approval dia sblmnya. So, edit sama2 dalam erti kata lain sy melihat bagaimana dia mengedit, dlm masa yg sama, memastikan content/maksud tak lari...
Pastu macam biasa, dia bercerita ttg isu semasa. Hr sblm tu, satu dokumentari menjadi perhatian di OZ, pendedahan ttg penyembelihan lembu OZ di Indon. Dia bercerita cerita ;the king has no clothes" dianalogikan macamana manusia hr ni diperbodohkan dgn cerita /kahabar menipu org2 jahat .... dan hujah dia, killing is killing. smacam la oz berlutut kat lembu suruh dia cepat2 mati...respect binatang smpai camtu sekali..
Ptg smlm, dah lewat patang dia call sy di bilik, suruh dtg ke opis dia, utk edit draft paper conference public law di msia, yg sy forward utk approval dia sblmnya. So, edit sama2 dalam erti kata lain sy melihat bagaimana dia mengedit, dlm masa yg sama, memastikan content/maksud tak lari...
Pastu macam biasa, dia bercerita ttg isu semasa. Hr sblm tu, satu dokumentari menjadi perhatian di OZ, pendedahan ttg penyembelihan lembu OZ di Indon. Dia bercerita cerita ;the king has no clothes" dianalogikan macamana manusia hr ni diperbodohkan dgn cerita /kahabar menipu org2 jahat .... dan hujah dia, killing is killing. smacam la oz berlutut kat lembu suruh dia cepat2 mati...respect binatang smpai camtu sekali..
Khamis, Jun 02, 2011
second sv
second sv saya adalah head of school. Orangnya mmg nampak baik dan pengalaman sy beberapa kali berjumpanya , mmg dia baik. Tapi cerita2 kawan2 lain dr lab saya, banyak bad experience. Tapi supervisionnya mmg takde langsung, sekolahnya sy hanya ada 1 sv-tp byk juga kebaikannya.
Pagi ni sy bersembang sakan dgn roommate sy Nan, sampat tak jadi gi workshop di library-lain kali boleh pergi lagi. Sembang ttg trip ke Us, ttg sv, ttg paper , tentang masa depan/alam pekerjaan-Nan decided nak jadi lecturer di Thailand lps semalam kawannya, Aom menceritakan kebaikan jadi lecturer. Nan baru balik dr Brazil dan US, 2 conference dan berjalan2 LA dan sebagainya.
Balik cerita SV kedua sy, dia mmg seorg yang sebok. Sy hanya ada beberapa experience dgn dia:
1- awal sampai dulu, terang sedikit sedikit background research saya, dia nampak tertarik dan mengatakan research tu bagus. Kemudian dia tya pasal IELTS. Bila bgtahu point yg sy dapat, dia lebih impress lagi. Katanya, sistem IELTS Msia dah disetkan 1 point kurang dr OZ, so, kalu di Msia aku dpt 7.5, sbnarnya di sini aku dapt 8.5 ...(ohh..begitukah)
2- Hari presentation proposal aku-dia salah seorang panel yang bagi byk bg komen positif -extra positif-"I believe this reserach will turn to be a big ....." etc. Petangnya pula, dia panggil ke biliknya nak jumpa, seram mulanya, rupanya dia nak minta slide & biodata & gambar aku utk masukkan dlm slide dia sbg keynote speaker di UMS nanti.
3- jumpa selisih di tangga. Dia tya progrss camana, aku kata ok, dia happy & puji lg.
4-beberapa kali selisih, mmg dia greet dgn hormat.
Tp ramai org sini kata dia ckp lain masa dpn public, tp ckp lain masa jmpa privately.
Pagi ni sy bersembang sakan dgn roommate sy Nan, sampat tak jadi gi workshop di library-lain kali boleh pergi lagi. Sembang ttg trip ke Us, ttg sv, ttg paper , tentang masa depan/alam pekerjaan-Nan decided nak jadi lecturer di Thailand lps semalam kawannya, Aom menceritakan kebaikan jadi lecturer. Nan baru balik dr Brazil dan US, 2 conference dan berjalan2 LA dan sebagainya.
Balik cerita SV kedua sy, dia mmg seorg yang sebok. Sy hanya ada beberapa experience dgn dia:
1- awal sampai dulu, terang sedikit sedikit background research saya, dia nampak tertarik dan mengatakan research tu bagus. Kemudian dia tya pasal IELTS. Bila bgtahu point yg sy dapat, dia lebih impress lagi. Katanya, sistem IELTS Msia dah disetkan 1 point kurang dr OZ, so, kalu di Msia aku dpt 7.5, sbnarnya di sini aku dapt 8.5 ...(ohh..begitukah)
2- Hari presentation proposal aku-dia salah seorang panel yang bagi byk bg komen positif -extra positif-"I believe this reserach will turn to be a big ....." etc. Petangnya pula, dia panggil ke biliknya nak jumpa, seram mulanya, rupanya dia nak minta slide & biodata & gambar aku utk masukkan dlm slide dia sbg keynote speaker di UMS nanti.
3- jumpa selisih di tangga. Dia tya progrss camana, aku kata ok, dia happy & puji lg.
4-beberapa kali selisih, mmg dia greet dgn hormat.
Tp ramai org sini kata dia ckp lain masa dpn public, tp ckp lain masa jmpa privately.
Jumaat, Mei 27, 2011
Kelas jom mengaji
Sesi jom mengaji malam ni berjalan lancar dengan penambahan ahli..Siri ke3 malam ni dibuat di rumah idris. Seperti biasa kaum uibu penuh debaran, ada yg nak lari masuk bawah katil, menggeletar dan penuh gelak ketawa bila nak cuba makhraj yang betul. Tapi malam ni ada kejutan, bacaan Efa mengejutkan semua org lain, menyeramkankan bulu roma sebab sungguh sedap dan kuat bacaanya . kaum bapa pun terkejut, terberenti sebentar.
Khamis, Mei 26, 2011
CIKM paper submitted at last
Happy melonjak akhirnya dapat juga submit paper CIKM (Glasgow). conference A ranked. Mulanya dah give up, tp bila sv kata hantar je wp tak ikut format, akhirnya terhantar jg 20 min sblm waktu tutup, tp thrillnya tinggi, kena convert pdf, takleh lebih 5mb etc...hu hu
Isnin, Mei 23, 2011
Alhamdulillah
Alhamdulillah, hati rasa melonjak, ni baru lepas present di SIMLab meeting. Andy & Jing datang. Andy happy, komen 'that's terrific' . hh..cair rasanya...hilang kejap segala keserabutan wp menekan..esok due date CIKM full paper, tadi dpt reminder dr Prof Salim utk chapter of book tu, td dapat notice meeting MyPSA kali pertaman, lusa meeting ngan Abrar-mesti dia tya padal visa, aku lum siap... tp lega td despite abrar suruh rahsiakan, rasa tersepit gak bil a Andy sendiri ty a ada tak effort hantar paper ke conference/seminar, aku ckp je hantar IBIMA beberapa org, dan aku ckp je aku ada hantar ke AMCIS..dia puji sbb hantar..dia tak tahu, sbnarnya dah accepted pun
Jumaat, Mei 20, 2011
Aduhhhhhh
Penat juga buat phd, bila kena publish sekali. banyak benda kena buat, dan kadang2 perkara2 lain pun, masa tu lah juga nak kena buat...skrg:
prepare ke AMCIS Detroit-visa, tiket, amik gambar etc
prepare ke IBIMA KL - tempah tiket, konflik nk balik brp lama, nak bkutip data lg ke tak ke...
SIMLab meeting Isnin depan - aku pulak kena present, hr ni Jumaat, blm buat apa2 pun lg
tgh buat paper CIKM, due 25hb ni, tinggal 5 hr ke la, apapun lum siap..baru ada 1 page
ICIQ kena hantar jg ke?buat di adelaide, byk save
Conference next: byk, tarikh pun dah dekat ::
Public law di ITM
human network di Cape Town
IBIMA di Italy
etc
etc
Aduhhhh
transciption lum siap2
janji terakhir ngan SV, nak siap by 30 hb ni ..aduh 10 hr je lagi..membilang hari
serabut kena lantik SU MyPSA tak habis lg, malah tak sempat nak fikir punnn
malam ni nak kena handle kelas ngaji kaum ibu pulakkk
malam2 biasa mmg budak2 dtg ngaji kat rumah...
kadang2 terasa hidup ini sungguh padat....sesak
prepare ke AMCIS Detroit-visa, tiket, amik gambar etc
prepare ke IBIMA KL - tempah tiket, konflik nk balik brp lama, nak bkutip data lg ke tak ke...
SIMLab meeting Isnin depan - aku pulak kena present, hr ni Jumaat, blm buat apa2 pun lg
tgh buat paper CIKM, due 25hb ni, tinggal 5 hr ke la, apapun lum siap..baru ada 1 page
ICIQ kena hantar jg ke?buat di adelaide, byk save
Conference next: byk, tarikh pun dah dekat ::
Public law di ITM
human network di Cape Town
IBIMA di Italy
etc
etc
Aduhhhh
transciption lum siap2
janji terakhir ngan SV, nak siap by 30 hb ni ..aduh 10 hr je lagi..membilang hari
serabut kena lantik SU MyPSA tak habis lg, malah tak sempat nak fikir punnn
malam ni nak kena handle kelas ngaji kaum ibu pulakkk
malam2 biasa mmg budak2 dtg ngaji kat rumah...
kadang2 terasa hidup ini sungguh padat....sesak
Selasa, Mei 17, 2011
Isnin, Mei 16, 2011
Melonjak
rasa melonjak happy lak bila abstract yg dihantar ke Prof Salim@ Timothy Daniels, diterima utk chapter 6 dalam buku dia edisi terbaru...mula la terfikir pasal AP lak, mula la terfikir patut ke letak jawatan SU tu
hr ni masih bz draft paper CIKM, transcription lum siap...sv bg till end of this month
hr ni masih bz draft paper CIKM, transcription lum siap...sv bg till end of this month
Isnin, Mei 09, 2011
Sabtu, April 30, 2011
Marah
Patutlah, ada kata2 "org yang paling kuat ialah yg dapat menahan marah". Sakit betul menanggung kemarahan...Sedap2 je nak mengata, menghina orag, bila aku pulang paku buah keras, baru tahu nak melatah...sampai tak jd masuk GS yang dah di depan mata..kelakar juga, baru tahu camana rasanya mengata org sesedap hati...
Dalam pendidkan anak2, rasanya, anak2ku byk menanggung rasa sptku, tp mereka tak mampu melawan/meluahkan, terus di label macam2,. Dapat kurasakan jiwa mereka memberontak....sabarlah ana2ku sayang,,,
Dalam pendidkan anak2, rasanya, anak2ku byk menanggung rasa sptku, tp mereka tak mampu melawan/meluahkan, terus di label macam2,. Dapat kurasakan jiwa mereka memberontak....sabarlah ana2ku sayang,,,
Selasa, April 26, 2011
Sifat manusia
Heran sungguh dgn sifat manusia, sungguh tak layak rg2 camni bergear pendidik, sbb diri sendiri tidak terdidik, malah kelihatan biadap. Otak pulak, macam tak capai thp pensyarah, camana leh buat PhD? pelik juga...
antara peristiwa:
Ada sekoq lagi yg perasan...agaknya rasa dia perfect ke, apa ke..yang pasti, suka membangga diri da asyik nak bangkang ilmu yang org bagi..
antara peristiwa:
Ada sekoq lagi yg perasan...agaknya rasa dia perfect ke, apa ke..yang pasti, suka membangga diri da asyik nak bangkang ilmu yang org bagi..
ke Adelaide Hill lg
Kali ni gi ngan Nani Pian. estnasi Gumeracha, cocolate factory, makan, Hahndorf.
Brighton
Bersemangat nak ke Bringhton rupanya tutup. Suadahnya ke Gepps X.. K Reen bli barag kduru. dapat cawan corning 2 biji, tp happy, sbb suka & baru lg..
School break & easter holiday
Anak2 cuti 2 mgu bemula __________ hingga_____. Dalam tu pulak, ada curi panjang utk semua org-easter, Anzac day & ____. Hajat hati nak bw anak2 jala overnight pun tak boleh sbb tmpat2 peraninan dh book penuh dan sangat mahal, jadi, jalan2 dekat2 aje. Weekend baru ni dgn Yat bbrapa family lain , gi petik apple
Jumaat, April 15, 2011
15 april 2011
Dah hampur separuh perjalanan PhDku ini. Skrg sedang transcribe interview...sungguh lembap rasanya, dah lama, berbulan tak siap2 sbb buat sikit2 je-bosan, dan selalu terinterrupt dgn perkara lain eg. buat paper conference.
Kepala pun ligat fikir camana nak tambah pendapatan sbb duit d sini tak berapa cukup. Cara hidup kami mmg sgt sederhana. Nasib baik la di sini ada garage sale.
Pg ni chatting dgn Laila, sungguh mengujakan, dia dah hadiri byk kursus2 motivasi perniagaan etc-ilmu seru, alpha mind , law of attraction segala....ahh jelesss...tp dia akan share ilmu tu semua. Tak sabar aku nak belajar jg..kalau boleh nak praktikkan dan nak niaga seriously, sbb dah sickkk sgt2 dgn bekerja di fpm, dgn org2 yg tak bertamadun...
Kepala pun ligat fikir camana nak tambah pendapatan sbb duit d sini tak berapa cukup. Cara hidup kami mmg sgt sederhana. Nasib baik la di sini ada garage sale.
Pg ni chatting dgn Laila, sungguh mengujakan, dia dah hadiri byk kursus2 motivasi perniagaan etc-ilmu seru, alpha mind , law of attraction segala....ahh jelesss...tp dia akan share ilmu tu semua. Tak sabar aku nak belajar jg..kalau boleh nak praktikkan dan nak niaga seriously, sbb dah sickkk sgt2 dgn bekerja di fpm, dgn org2 yg tak bertamadun...
Jumaat, April 08, 2011
Roti kelapa
Hai ni berpagi-pagia buat roti. sblm tu buat inti kelapanya dulu, nab baik ok. Trauma jgsemalam, inti apple pie hangit seperiuk besar, akibat khusyuk gt tgk 1 million drop.. So pg ni, besanga uat roti keapa dan coklat pulak...dan pastri inti app hangit...
Hati masih terusik..tiap masingatan tak perna luput...bila lah nak kebah..
Hati masih terusik..tiap masingatan tak perna luput...bila lah nak kebah..
Rabu, April 06, 2011
Ketenangan
Telah lama ketenangan hilang dari diriku...selalu kacau bilau, tak keruan...kemuncaknya semalam, menerima pengesahan berita yang sungguh mengejutkan..Serta merta tangan menjadi dingin sungguh, muka pula terasa begitu panas...inilah rasanya kemuncak keresahan...perkara yang aku letakkan sebagai turning stone berlaku juga akhirnya..walaupun sungguh menyedihkan, aku terima juga berita itu dengan tabah. Namun terasa hatiku menjauh, kecewa. Terasa rebah tersungkur...
Keadaan ini memaksa aku mencari kekuatan diri, bangun pagi 4am, terasa sungguh segar, lalu aku bersuci dan sujuk kepada Yang Maha Memahami hati hambaNya...tahajud, taubat dan hajat, penuh harap. Lepas subuh, kualunkan Al Quran 50 ayat, aku bertekad, mulai sekarang, aku wajibkan diri utk baca sekurang2nya 50 ayat sehari (dgn kiraan 10 ayat setiap waktu solat) supaya ayat mukjizat ini menjadi penguat diriku yang lemah. Aku juga akan telusuri terjemahannya setiap hari. Teringat 2-3 hari lepas anak sulungku bertanya "Ummi dah berapa kali khatam Al Quran?".
Pagi ni, terasa tenang menjalar di hati...terima kasih Tuhan, mengurniakan nikmat ketenangan...semoga berkekalan... semoga telahirlah cintaku terhadapMu yang tidak bertepi..tunjukilah kami jalan keredhaanMu Ya Allah...Berkatilah hidup kami di dunia fana penuh cubaan ini, dan tempatkan kami bersama kekasih2Mu di syurga nanti...
Keadaan ini memaksa aku mencari kekuatan diri, bangun pagi 4am, terasa sungguh segar, lalu aku bersuci dan sujuk kepada Yang Maha Memahami hati hambaNya...tahajud, taubat dan hajat, penuh harap. Lepas subuh, kualunkan Al Quran 50 ayat, aku bertekad, mulai sekarang, aku wajibkan diri utk baca sekurang2nya 50 ayat sehari (dgn kiraan 10 ayat setiap waktu solat) supaya ayat mukjizat ini menjadi penguat diriku yang lemah. Aku juga akan telusuri terjemahannya setiap hari. Teringat 2-3 hari lepas anak sulungku bertanya "Ummi dah berapa kali khatam Al Quran?".
Pagi ni, terasa tenang menjalar di hati...terima kasih Tuhan, mengurniakan nikmat ketenangan...semoga berkekalan... semoga telahirlah cintaku terhadapMu yang tidak bertepi..tunjukilah kami jalan keredhaanMu Ya Allah...Berkatilah hidup kami di dunia fana penuh cubaan ini, dan tempatkan kami bersama kekasih2Mu di syurga nanti...
Selasa, April 05, 2011
Elaun sara hidup
Pagi ni datang ofis awal..8 lebih lepas hantar anak2 ke sekolah. Semalam x dtg ofis, terlepas presentation Asmawi Cyber security, sudahnya gi rumah Yat exchange corelle yang tersalah ambik malam kemarin...
Banyak nak dibuat, tapi byk pula hanlangannya
Husb gi fight utk naik elain. Elaun sekarang berdasarkan sara hidup 2006 di mana sewa rumah ialah 180/week. sekarang, buat perkiraan baru berdasarkan 320/week., Sekarang sefamily yang macam kami dapt sebulan AUD 2360, sedangkan keperluan minima utk hidup ialah 2500 the lowest, so, cam family saya, short AUD140. Keluarga Hj Arid short AUD340. Dr kamarul short 300 Idris wp anak sorang je short 200. Semua perbezaan ni disebabkan zeza gaya hidup dan juga bilangan keluarga dan juga kadar sewa rumah. Tp yang short tu maknanya kami mmg kena amik duit dari Malaysia utk menampungnya.. aku pulak, husb buat ebay sikit2 utk tampung kekurangan tu..
ANZ statement:
18/1/11 masuk 3381
23/2/11 masuk 3699 bermakna jumlah 2360
(next payment maknanya 18/4 dan 23/5 i.e 3 bulan berikutnya..hr ni 5/4, so nak tgu 18/4 aduhhh lambat lagi...check duit dalam akaun ada AUD 69 je lg. di tgn suami 49 je lg. Dalam purse aku tak kira..rasanya 200 kot (baru ni husb bagi utk buat belanja rumah & grage sale) Pasti Li kena bayar AUD 500 (so ada dalam 800 lg la kot)...sesak juga..
Awang...
Baru ni Awang sah akan dapt elaun dari UNISA AUD3400 sebulan dr April-Aug 2011. Jumlah tu sebenarnya utk sara hidup standard di Adelaide ni. bayangkan kami hanya terima 2360 je, bezanya AUD 1080... Bru ni masa di Melbourne, Husb dah bnetang, meeting utk naikkan AUD390, menjadikan jumlah yang akan diterima 2750, kalau la diluluskan kementerian...
Banyak nak dibuat, tapi byk pula hanlangannya
Husb gi fight utk naik elain. Elaun sekarang berdasarkan sara hidup 2006 di mana sewa rumah ialah 180/week. sekarang, buat perkiraan baru berdasarkan 320/week., Sekarang sefamily yang macam kami dapt sebulan AUD 2360, sedangkan keperluan minima utk hidup ialah 2500 the lowest, so, cam family saya, short AUD140. Keluarga Hj Arid short AUD340. Dr kamarul short 300 Idris wp anak sorang je short 200. Semua perbezaan ni disebabkan zeza gaya hidup dan juga bilangan keluarga dan juga kadar sewa rumah. Tp yang short tu maknanya kami mmg kena amik duit dari Malaysia utk menampungnya.. aku pulak, husb buat ebay sikit2 utk tampung kekurangan tu..
ANZ statement:
18/1/11 masuk 3381
23/2/11 masuk 3699 bermakna jumlah 2360
(next payment maknanya 18/4 dan 23/5 i.e 3 bulan berikutnya..hr ni 5/4, so nak tgu 18/4 aduhhh lambat lagi...check duit dalam akaun ada AUD 69 je lg. di tgn suami 49 je lg. Dalam purse aku tak kira..rasanya 200 kot (baru ni husb bagi utk buat belanja rumah & grage sale) Pasti Li kena bayar AUD 500 (so ada dalam 800 lg la kot)...sesak juga..
Awang...
Baru ni Awang sah akan dapt elaun dari UNISA AUD3400 sebulan dr April-Aug 2011. Jumlah tu sebenarnya utk sara hidup standard di Adelaide ni. bayangkan kami hanya terima 2360 je, bezanya AUD 1080... Bru ni masa di Melbourne, Husb dah bnetang, meeting utk naikkan AUD390, menjadikan jumlah yang akan diterima 2750, kalau la diluluskan kementerian...
Khamis, Mac 31, 2011
Sedih ...dan syukur
Sebenarnya hari ni saya sangat sedih..husb bertolak juga ke Sydney dlm ketidakrelaan saya. Sedih sebab dia buat keputusan utk ke Sydney dan Melbourne tanpa berbincang dgn sy terlebih dahulu...Sy sedih sbb saya sedang dalam kesempitan nak siapkan paper dan trascription..patutnya di boleh tolong saya cepatkan kerja saya, tapi dia memilih tolong orang lain beli kereta baru, dan wakilkan persatuan pergi meeti meetng dan fight utk kenaikan elaun adelaide....sungguh sedih..lgpun dgn ketiadaan dia, bermakna beban masak, membeli, anak2 etc yg selaa ini di bahu dia akan bralih ke bahu saya yg mmgdah sediaberat menanang ni....bukannya tolong ringankan, lagi beri tambahan beban..sya sbnarnya tak kesah sgt kalu dia bincang awal2, byk faedahnya bincang dulu, cthnya, bila saranan bernas saya utk pos kereta ikut kurier dikemukakan, ianya sudah terlambat sebab mereka dah beli tiket,,,kos ygsepatunya agak murah, ah jadi seribu dollar lebih kalu tukar plan saat akhir ni...apa boleh buat, wp tanpa rela, sy terpaksa juga terima semuanya...hari ni, anak2 dia minta tolong hai yg ambikkan..lauk dia dh masak siap2 bg Hai..anak2 dia dh uruskan macam biasa,slm berpisah td, dia cium sorag2 lama2...
Hingga pagi ni, bau dia tanya boleh tak dia pergi...kenapalah tak tyalebi awal, kalu sekadar formality, baik x payah tanya...saat ni, apa lgyg boleh aku ckpkan, hanya lpshantar dia, kata2 terakhir aku "abangpergi ni tanpa kerelaan na"...dia nmpak cam terkedu sikit..tp dah terlambat..katanya..dah tu kala abang mti camana? aku jawb...nak buat camana?.... Masa Yat kata terima kasih sbb kasi pinjam ye...aku jawab..tak kasi pun.... yat jawab dah tu?? dia yg nak ya...ye la..dah tu nk buat cana lg???
Balik dr hantar dia ke South road, aku drive ke kampus, tak de parking, aku balik umah...duk sorang2 dirumah smntara tgu waktu workshop ptg ni 2-5pm.
Bila bka fb: terbaca pulak status Muna 'Izzah Fadzil:
Senaraikan kesyukuran kita bermula saat ini dalam diari hidup kita masing-masing. Bagi saya saat ini adalah saya bersyukur kerana selama setahun lima bulan ini, saya telah jimat duit untuk membeli susu kepada bayi saya kerana Allah telah memberi susu percuma buat bayi saya. Ianya sesuatu yang membahagiakan. Alhamdulillah. Mari sama-sama menulis dalam diari masing-masing kesyukuran anda. :-)
Mujur ada tazkirah camni....nak trylah
syukur aku diberi kehidupan yang sebegini....
syukur dapat suami yang baik
sukur dapat peluang hidup di perantauan
syukur dapat rasa mca2 pengalaman baru
syukur ada 3 orang ana yg bijak2 dan sempurna
syukur mak sentias memberi sokongan
syukur mak ada
syukur dapat supervisor ambil berat
syukur segalanya..mmacam2 nikma tak terkira..tak tersenarai...
Hingga pagi ni, bau dia tanya boleh tak dia pergi...kenapalah tak tyalebi awal, kalu sekadar formality, baik x payah tanya...saat ni, apa lgyg boleh aku ckpkan, hanya lpshantar dia, kata2 terakhir aku "abangpergi ni tanpa kerelaan na"...dia nmpak cam terkedu sikit..tp dah terlambat..katanya..dah tu kala abang mti camana? aku jawb...nak buat camana?.... Masa Yat kata terima kasih sbb kasi pinjam ye...aku jawab..tak kasi pun.... yat jawab dah tu?? dia yg nak ya...ye la..dah tu nk buat cana lg???
Balik dr hantar dia ke South road, aku drive ke kampus, tak de parking, aku balik umah...duk sorang2 dirumah smntara tgu waktu workshop ptg ni 2-5pm.
Bila bka fb: terbaca pulak status Muna 'Izzah Fadzil:
Senaraikan kesyukuran kita bermula saat ini dalam diari hidup kita masing-masing. Bagi saya saat ini adalah saya bersyukur kerana selama setahun lima bulan ini, saya telah jimat duit untuk membeli susu kepada bayi saya kerana Allah telah memberi susu percuma buat bayi saya. Ianya sesuatu yang membahagiakan. Alhamdulillah. Mari sama-sama menulis dalam diari masing-masing kesyukuran anda. :-)
Mujur ada tazkirah camni....nak trylah
syukur aku diberi kehidupan yang sebegini....
syukur dapat suami yang baik
sukur dapat peluang hidup di perantauan
syukur dapat rasa mca2 pengalaman baru
syukur ada 3 orang ana yg bijak2 dan sempurna
syukur mak sentias memberi sokongan
syukur mak ada
syukur dapat supervisor ambil berat
syukur segalanya..mmacam2 nikma tak terkira..tak tersenarai...
Isnin, Mac 28, 2011
Kehidupan
Untuk apa kita hidup sebenarnya?? Aku telah dididik tentang ini semua, namun....hatiku tiada ketenangan...terasa semakin jauh...diuji sebegitu rupa...masihkah bersisa nilai2 yang teguh selama ini?..
Ujian datang dan pergi, kekadang terasa begitu penat mengharunginya...
Ujian datang dan pergi, kekadang terasa begitu penat mengharunginya...
cerita minggu ni
mgu lepas, dari segi kerja, hasilnya tak banyak...sangat sedikit... entah kenapa mmg takde mood.
weekend spt biasa dipenuhi aktiviti. Sabtu garage sales, buat cheese cakem muffin pisang, pastry inti apple kegemaran Yayang, pastry inti salami,malam gi rumah Kak Nana,asalnya ada tayangan movie, tapi sembang yang lebih...anak2 je tgk movie. Ahad pergo Brighton car boot sale bawa family K Reen/ Dr Risman, then gi picnic di Brighton beach- semua persediaan picnic, husband yang bangun 4am sediakan nasi dgn ayam masak merah, telur kuah kicap dan terung goreng tumis- anak2 sakan main, makan dalam kesejukan. OTW balik singgah rumah Sitah amik buah peach setimbun, singgah rumah Aishah amik karipap. Petang baru sidai kain dan sampai ke malam urusan lipat kain yang dah seminggu, yang dah menggunung.
Oh ya, malam Sabtu baru ni, dpt inbox dr Shila, katanya paper yang aku present di Berjaya Times Square tu telah dipublish dalam buku-jadi chapter of a book publication..yeahhh..seronoknya Alhamdulillah- 1st of such kind of publication...terima kasih ya Allah...
Hari ni, mmg awal2 lagi, masa weekend baru ni lg, aku dah pasang niat, nak gunakan masa semaksima mungkin di ofis utk kerja2 PhD, dan masa di rumah, aku boleh concentrate hal rumah, tak perlu struggle masa di rumah. So, pagi ni, dgn penuh semangat, bersiap awal dan datang opis awal. List to do pun siap berderet. Masa nak buat 2st task, kertas yang nak diguma rupanya tak dibawa, tergendalalah kerja,,,minta hsb cari di rumah pun katanya tak de,,aduhh...hilang semangat nak buat kerja. Tp aku kuatkan juga, buat yang lain dulu, apa yang ada, yang lebih penting pun sebenarnya, draf paper IBIMA...tp kenapa aku rasa nak nangis je ni....
Sekolah Yayang pulak tetiba telefon tya pasal bayaran swimming..aduhhh...sedih juga pg tadi Yayang nangis nak suruh ikut dia gi swimming, aku kata tak boleh, abahnya kata tak payah,...kesian dia..
Ya Allah, berilah aku semangat, kecerdasan tinggi utk hasilkan paper kali ni...terkejut jg mgu lepas Nan bgtahu paper dia dah 2 accepted- pril di korea dan mei di US...rasa tercabar pun ada..persaingan yg bagus...
weekend spt biasa dipenuhi aktiviti. Sabtu garage sales, buat cheese cakem muffin pisang, pastry inti apple kegemaran Yayang, pastry inti salami,malam gi rumah Kak Nana,asalnya ada tayangan movie, tapi sembang yang lebih...anak2 je tgk movie. Ahad pergo Brighton car boot sale bawa family K Reen/ Dr Risman, then gi picnic di Brighton beach- semua persediaan picnic, husband yang bangun 4am sediakan nasi dgn ayam masak merah, telur kuah kicap dan terung goreng tumis- anak2 sakan main, makan dalam kesejukan. OTW balik singgah rumah Sitah amik buah peach setimbun, singgah rumah Aishah amik karipap. Petang baru sidai kain dan sampai ke malam urusan lipat kain yang dah seminggu, yang dah menggunung.
Oh ya, malam Sabtu baru ni, dpt inbox dr Shila, katanya paper yang aku present di Berjaya Times Square tu telah dipublish dalam buku-jadi chapter of a book publication..yeahhh..seronoknya Alhamdulillah- 1st of such kind of publication...terima kasih ya Allah...
Hari ni, mmg awal2 lagi, masa weekend baru ni lg, aku dah pasang niat, nak gunakan masa semaksima mungkin di ofis utk kerja2 PhD, dan masa di rumah, aku boleh concentrate hal rumah, tak perlu struggle masa di rumah. So, pagi ni, dgn penuh semangat, bersiap awal dan datang opis awal. List to do pun siap berderet. Masa nak buat 2st task, kertas yang nak diguma rupanya tak dibawa, tergendalalah kerja,,,minta hsb cari di rumah pun katanya tak de,,aduhh...hilang semangat nak buat kerja. Tp aku kuatkan juga, buat yang lain dulu, apa yang ada, yang lebih penting pun sebenarnya, draf paper IBIMA...tp kenapa aku rasa nak nangis je ni....
Sekolah Yayang pulak tetiba telefon tya pasal bayaran swimming..aduhhh...sedih juga pg tadi Yayang nangis nak suruh ikut dia gi swimming, aku kata tak boleh, abahnya kata tak payah,...kesian dia..
Ya Allah, berilah aku semangat, kecerdasan tinggi utk hasilkan paper kali ni...terkejut jg mgu lepas Nan bgtahu paper dia dah 2 accepted- pril di korea dan mei di US...rasa tercabar pun ada..persaingan yg bagus...
Jumaat, Mac 25, 2011
Selasa, Mac 22, 2011
Isnin, Mac 21, 2011
Selasa, Mac 15, 2011
Tsunami Jepun 8.9 magnitude
Terkejut dan tersentuh tgk malapetaka earthquake & tsunami di Jepun
http://au.news.yahoo.com/japan-tsunami/a/-/article/9011361/in-tragedy-japanese-impress-world/
http://au.news.yahoo.com/a/-/world/9010775/risk-of-japan-nuclear-meltdown-increases/
http://au.news.yahoo.com/japan-tsunami/a/-/article/9011361/in-tragedy-japanese-impress-world/
http://au.news.yahoo.com/a/-/world/9010775/risk-of-japan-nuclear-meltdown-increases/
Hantar anak sekolah
Hari ni, sblm dtg opis, hantar anak sekolah, then gi shopping di coles dulu. Sbnarnya aku jarang hantar anak sekolah..biasanya, suami aja yg hantar mereka..Tp hr ni aku siap awal, so join diorg sekali. Anak2 happy sbb hr ni dtg sekolah lebih awal dr biasa. Turun kerete, salam2, Syakirin terus berlari ke kelas. Aku perhati je dari jauh, tak larat nak kejar dia.., belum sampai pintu, kelas, dah ada minah org putih sekat dan pegang dia, nak hug dia...aku nampak dia mengelak, dia pusingkan badan dan terlepas dr tgn ppuan tu... Kak ngah pulak jalan slow2 je ke kelas, kawan2 yg dia rapat/boleh masuk belum sampai...dia mmg agak reserve sikit, tak berkawan dgn semua org mcm syakirin. Tapi aku faham, canaran utk dia mmg lebh, sbb gap dia lbh besar...dia pakai tudung, org mesti pelik tgk dia, ditambah pula dgn sifat semulajadi dia yg extra pemalu tu... kesian dia.. Sekarang, lepas dia sekelas dgn Syakirin, kami parentsnya hanya dengar cerita yg sama je dari diorg berdua tu...tp alhamdulillah K Ngah lbh suka kelas baru ni berbanding kelas lama..katanya cikgunya best, suka buat joke..
Yayang pun hari ni ok je berjalan sendiri ke kelas, tak suruh ummi ikut lagi, tp saja aku pergi juga kemudiannya, saja tgk2 kelasnya yg ceria, dan greet cikgu Lyn Conway yang sgt disayangi oleh Yayang tu...Sempat ambik gambar Yayang dlm kelas sikit.. dan lukisan dia kelihatannya paling cantik diantara kawan2nya ... Sayang anak2 ummi!!!
Baru ni, terjumpa principal, sembang2 dgn parents d bawah pokok, sedangkan dia masih atas basikalnya...bagus betul diorg ni...
Yayang pun hari ni ok je berjalan sendiri ke kelas, tak suruh ummi ikut lagi, tp saja aku pergi juga kemudiannya, saja tgk2 kelasnya yg ceria, dan greet cikgu Lyn Conway yang sgt disayangi oleh Yayang tu...Sempat ambik gambar Yayang dlm kelas sikit.. dan lukisan dia kelihatannya paling cantik diantara kawan2nya ... Sayang anak2 ummi!!!
Baru ni, terjumpa principal, sembang2 dgn parents d bawah pokok, sedangkan dia masih atas basikalnya...bagus betul diorg ni...
Pilih kawan
Selama ni, dlm masyarakat yang kecik, rasanya tak pelu memilih kawan, tapi agaknya mmg betul pepatah org tua, kalau berkawan dgn org kerja taik, busuknya akan tercalit ke kita, kalau berkawan dgn penjual minyak wangi, harumnya akak melekat juga pd kita. Pepatah tu dah agak mengena dgnku... Selama ni mmg selalu rasa geram dgn cakap besar tp kosong, menjaja fakta salah..tp aku tak berapa kisah..lantaklah. Tapi kali ni, yang dijadikan bahan jajaan adalah berkaitanku... tak semena2 aku jadi benci betul dgn dia...Wp selama ni aku masih boleh terima, kekurangan dia dlm berfikir, tp kali ni rasanya dia macam dah tak de otak..atau otak kat lutut...heee..marah betul ni..
Selama ni mmg byk kecuaiannya memberi bala kpd dirinya sendiri, tp kali ni, kecuaian/kebodohannya memberi 'risk' kepada aku... Agaknya hidup ni nak kena pilih kawan juga....
Selama ni mmg byk kecuaiannya memberi bala kpd dirinya sendiri, tp kali ni, kecuaian/kebodohannya memberi 'risk' kepada aku... Agaknya hidup ni nak kena pilih kawan juga....
Rabu, Mac 09, 2011
6-3-11 hingga 9-3-11 : genap 24 tahun
Hari ni 9-3-11, menggamit kenangan tarikh pemergian ayahanda tercinta 24 tahun yang lalu.... seorang yang sangat penyayang dan disayangi...rindu tak pernah pudar...semoga ayah bahagia di sana, semoga kita bertemu dia alam syurga.
Kenangan 24 tahu lalu tetap segar diingatan, jalan ceritanya jelas..
Kenangan 24 tahu lalu tetap segar diingatan, jalan ceritanya jelas..
Accident kecik diperbesarkan sbb kurangnya accident
on d way ke office td, nmpak accident yg baru jadi..polis, ambulan segala lum smapai.. sikit je pun ..Husb bgtahu, br ni masa dia balik dr Mawson lakes, ada accident kecik je, pemandu kereta luka sikit je, tp ada ambulan, 2 kereta bomba dan 3 kereta polis datang..unnecessary..kenapa jadi gini? sebab mereka kekurangan accident..baiknya, accident yg kecik pun diberi perhatian sebegitu rupa..katanya takut kereta terbakar etc..huh..kalu di Msia, org nak mati pun kadang tak heran..tak peduli..sbb accident dh byk sgt..
Kenapa jd camni berbeza sekali, puncanya, sbb mereka ENFORCE undang2 jalanraya dengan ketat..dahlah undang2 tu sendiri ketat, 50, 60, 80 km/hour, kena ikut betul, silap sikit terus saman..kenderaan mesti tip top..saman mmg saman betul..takde rasuah langsung...sori la polis nak terima rasuah..kita balik yg kena saman/tuduh ada..kenapa? apa puncanya? sbb sistem negara mereka..pembhagian kekayaan negara adalah adil..tak denye engkau jadi org politik boleh jadi kaya raya, dan kalo ko jadi polis pun, gaji mmg lebih dr cukup, kerja yg ada dignity, dihormati..pendekata, org kaya tak terlalu kaua, org miskin poyah nak jumpa...kalu kerja tinggi, tax tinggi..kalu tak kerja , gomen bagi duit gfree melalui centrelink
Kenapa jd camni berbeza sekali, puncanya, sbb mereka ENFORCE undang2 jalanraya dengan ketat..dahlah undang2 tu sendiri ketat, 50, 60, 80 km/hour, kena ikut betul, silap sikit terus saman..kenderaan mesti tip top..saman mmg saman betul..takde rasuah langsung...sori la polis nak terima rasuah..kita balik yg kena saman/tuduh ada..kenapa? apa puncanya? sbb sistem negara mereka..pembhagian kekayaan negara adalah adil..tak denye engkau jadi org politik boleh jadi kaya raya, dan kalo ko jadi polis pun, gaji mmg lebih dr cukup, kerja yg ada dignity, dihormati..pendekata, org kaya tak terlalu kaua, org miskin poyah nak jumpa...kalu kerja tinggi, tax tinggi..kalu tak kerja , gomen bagi duit gfree melalui centrelink
Syakirin kena hug juga akhirnya
Bukan dgn Sarah yg minta hug dulu tu, tapi dgn sorang girl lain yg saiznya macam sara juga..KDia tak dapat mengelak lg kali ni, tak de minta2 izin, terus je dihug syakirin yg tgh berjalna dgn k ngah nak bmasuk kelas...(k Ngah sama kelas ngan SYakirin skrg) K Ngah terkaget tekejut, terus patah balik berlari bgtahu abah..Syakirin longlai...agaknya kesal dia dah tak suci lagi..
Dr Jay-Pengarah baru EMAS kunjungi Adelaide
Baru 3 mgu
lecturer English Puncak Perdana
Dr Posiah-di wahsington- hanya 2 ppuan dr puluhan pengarah MSD
lecturer English Puncak Perdana
Dr Posiah-di wahsington- hanya 2 ppuan dr puluhan pengarah MSD
Jumaat, Mac 04, 2011
Pengalaman berharga
Semalam, dalam monthly meeting of our writer's circle, buat pertama kalinya sesi membincangkan/scrutize paper attemppted by ourselves..so, papaer aku utk sesi pertama ni..mmg pengalaman yg sgt berharga..paper yg aku tahu ada defect tp tak tahu di mana, camana nak baiki, dilihat oleh belasan mata lain, wah...banyaknya komen, cadangan membina, idea baru etc...amzing...wp mmg la malu mendedahkan paper kita tu, tp feedback diberi sgt berharga..
Kak Ngah tukar kelas, Yayang star of the week
Semalam petang, Principal sekolah Madisaon Park call aku. Rupanya dia mere[portkan perkembangan Kak Nhgah yang memberangsangkan, lalu, diorang nak naikkan dia dari kelas Year 4 ke kelas Year 4,5,6 bermula keesokan harinya (hari ni le). Itulah dia tujuan dia memelefon menanyakan persetujuan parents. Rasanya kalu kat Msia, setakat nak tukar kelas, tak de la sampai Guru Besar yang telefon parents, dan yang aku kagum, macam2 dia explain pasal Kak Ngah macam dia betul2 kenal personaliti Kak Ngah.. bila balik sekolah, K Ngah bgtahu ada satu session yg Principal tu buat utk ajar cara congak Maths dgn cepat, dan K Ngah ada ikut kelas tu..patut la dia kenal K Ngah...so sepatutnya hari K Ngah memluakan pengalaman baru di kelas yg baru. Smlm dia agak tak selesa bila bgtahu nak tukar kelas, sbb dia seronok dgn kelas sekarang..resistance to change.
Satu lagi boservation aku, sekolah di sini mmg ikut kebolehan anak2, sbb tu lah K Ngah dipindah kelas.. dan dlam satu kelas, dicampur Year 4,5 and 6.. very flexible..taklah anak2 boring belajar benda yg memboringkan mereka.
Pagi ni, aku ikut hantar mereka ke sekolah, sempat amik gambar Yayang sdg berperanan sbg star of the week, dgn memakai lanyard dgn nametag khas, memnggil nama2 kengkawan utk attendance.. star of the day ni kira ketua kelas la..bagus Yayang..
Syakirin pulak, td abahnya saje ikut hantar smpai kelas, selangsung dia nk gi ofis. Baru dia smpai behampiran kelas, 2 org gils excited memanggil2 dia, nak tunjukkan apa entahle, dan bila syakirin terus berjalan masuk kelas, diorg ikut dia kiri kanan, ckp2 ..apa ke bendanya entah le...
Satu lagi boservation aku, sekolah di sini mmg ikut kebolehan anak2, sbb tu lah K Ngah dipindah kelas.. dan dlam satu kelas, dicampur Year 4,5 and 6.. very flexible..taklah anak2 boring belajar benda yg memboringkan mereka.
Pagi ni, aku ikut hantar mereka ke sekolah, sempat amik gambar Yayang sdg berperanan sbg star of the week, dgn memakai lanyard dgn nametag khas, memnggil nama2 kengkawan utk attendance.. star of the day ni kira ketua kelas la..bagus Yayang..
Syakirin pulak, td abahnya saje ikut hantar smpai kelas, selangsung dia nk gi ofis. Baru dia smpai behampiran kelas, 2 org gils excited memanggil2 dia, nak tunjukkan apa entahle, dan bila syakirin terus berjalan masuk kelas, diorg ikut dia kiri kanan, ckp2 ..apa ke bendanya entah le...
Khamis, Mac 03, 2011
Star of the day
Minggu ni Yayang jadi star of the week..dia kelihatan bersemangat ke sekolah sepangjang minggu..Konsep ketua kelas, ditukar setiap minggu, semua org merasa spirit kepimpinan dan kena jadi followers, sgt bagus utk perkembangan personaliti. Tak macam di Msia biasa nya student leaser adalah org yg sama dan followers sentiasa jd follower. Akanberi effet kepada jiwa kedua2 watak..Satu akan sentiasa rasa kebesaran diri, satu lg sentiasa rasa dia bodoh, kuranfetc..sistem ni melarat ke sistem pemimpinan negara...sbbtu pemimpin bebas buat apa//
inilah beza system mereka
sama ngan sistem ekonomi mereka..adanya centerlink, cukai yg tinggi etc..akan dibincangkan nnt
inilah beza system mereka
sama ngan sistem ekonomi mereka..adanya centerlink, cukai yg tinggi etc..akan dibincangkan nnt
Istilah 'wang pembayar cukai'-Dr Mohd Asri Zainul Abidin
Istilah memainkan peranan penting dalam menyedarkan penggunanya dan pendengar.
Seringkali kali media melaporkan bantuan atau belanja yang dikeluarkan oleh kerajaan digambarkan seakan itu adalah harta kerajaan atau orang politik yang terbabit. Maka bantuan yang disalurkan seakan dari sifat pemurah kerajaan seperti disebut 'kerajaan bermurah hati membantu'.
najib visit kerdau 270211 01Rakyat seakan bagaikan peminta sedekah. Begitu juga apabila ada penyelewengan ataupun pembaziran, maka rakyat yang tidak faham merasakan yang rugi hanyalah kerajaan atau duit orang politik, sedangkan mereka lupa wang tersebut adalah wang mereka.
Maka di sini disebutkan beberapa perkara;
Samada kita sedar atau tidak, setiap rakyat negara ini membayar cukar kepada kerajaan. Ini merangkumi cukai pendapatan, cukai langsung dan tidak langsung.
Harga barangan yang kita beli dalam negara ini sebenarnya kita bayar bersama harga cukai. Di Malaysia kita membeli kereta dengan harga yang tinggi disebabkan faktor cukai.
mee seller stall hawker 141006Begitu juga segala barangan, makanan dan stesyen TV yang dibeli merangkumi harga cukai. Maka, setiap rakyat kena tahu bahawa mereka sebenarnya setiap hari membayar cukai kepada kerajaan. Justeru wang kerajaan adalah wang rakyat.
Maka, wang yang dibelanja oleh mana-mana kerajaan; samada BN atau Pakatan rakyat atau istana-istana dalam negara adalah wang rakyat yang membayar cukai secara langsung atau tidak langsung, sedar ataupun tidak sedar.
Bazir wang rakyat
Istilah 'wang pembayar cukai' atau taxpayers money, atau harta awam sepatutnya sentiasa dipakai dalam media dan ungkapan rakyat. Justeru, apabila kerajaan membelanja untuk sesuatu projek atau menyalurkan harta kepada mana-mana pihak, hendaklah dilapor atau disebut “kerajaan menggunakan wang pembayar cukai atau harta rakyat untuk projek itu dan ini”.
klcc new year celebration fireworks 2Jika berlaku pembaziran, hendaklah dilapor dan disebutkan “kerajaan telah membazirkan wang pembayar cukai, atau merosakkan harta awam, merugikan wang rakyat”.
Ungkapan ini penting supaya orang-orang politik sedar bahawa bantuan dan peruntukan yang mereka salurkan kepada rakyat bukan wang poket mereka, atau harta peribadi mereka sehingga mereka boleh mendabik dada bangga. Sebaliknya, ia sememang harta rakyat.
Begitulah rakyat, mereka tidak boleh tertipu dengan merasakan seorang-olah bantuan yang diumumkan oleh orang-orang politik itu dari 'harta persendirian' tokoh politik tersebut, sebaliknya ia memang harta rakyat yang diuruskan oleh orang-orang politik.
Peminta sedekah
Ini boleh mengelakkan perasaan rakyat yang merasakan mereka bagaikan peminta sedekah kepada kerajaan dan mengelakkan orang-orang politik lupa diri terhadap wang awam yang mereka belanja atau istiharkan dalam kempen politik mereka.
malaysia poor indian community poverty 230807Sesebuah kerajaan bukan dipuji kerana mereka berbelanja dengan wang rakyat atau wang pembayar cukai itu, tetapi mereka dipuji kerana pengurusan yang cemerlang dan amanah dalam mengendalikan harta awam atau harta rakyat.
Ertinya, jika kerajaan berjaya mengendalikan harta rakyat dengan cemerlang dan amanah, maka kerajaan itu dipuji dan disokong, begitu juga sebaliknya.
Istilah 'taxpayer money', atau 'taxpayer funds' atau 'taxpayers dollars' sering digunakan dalam media negara maju apabia memperkatakan tentang pembelanjaan ataupun pembaziran oleh pihak kerajaan.
Istilah seperti ini sebenarnya boleh membantu mengelakkan kecuaian kerajaan dan dalam masa yang sama boleh menyedarkan rakyat tentang hakikat wang yang digunakan oleh pihak kerajaan. Istilah ini juga patut dihidupkan dalam negara kita.
http://www.malaysiakini.com/columns/157226
Seringkali kali media melaporkan bantuan atau belanja yang dikeluarkan oleh kerajaan digambarkan seakan itu adalah harta kerajaan atau orang politik yang terbabit. Maka bantuan yang disalurkan seakan dari sifat pemurah kerajaan seperti disebut 'kerajaan bermurah hati membantu'.
najib visit kerdau 270211 01Rakyat seakan bagaikan peminta sedekah. Begitu juga apabila ada penyelewengan ataupun pembaziran, maka rakyat yang tidak faham merasakan yang rugi hanyalah kerajaan atau duit orang politik, sedangkan mereka lupa wang tersebut adalah wang mereka.
Maka di sini disebutkan beberapa perkara;
Samada kita sedar atau tidak, setiap rakyat negara ini membayar cukar kepada kerajaan. Ini merangkumi cukai pendapatan, cukai langsung dan tidak langsung.
Harga barangan yang kita beli dalam negara ini sebenarnya kita bayar bersama harga cukai. Di Malaysia kita membeli kereta dengan harga yang tinggi disebabkan faktor cukai.
mee seller stall hawker 141006Begitu juga segala barangan, makanan dan stesyen TV yang dibeli merangkumi harga cukai. Maka, setiap rakyat kena tahu bahawa mereka sebenarnya setiap hari membayar cukai kepada kerajaan. Justeru wang kerajaan adalah wang rakyat.
Maka, wang yang dibelanja oleh mana-mana kerajaan; samada BN atau Pakatan rakyat atau istana-istana dalam negara adalah wang rakyat yang membayar cukai secara langsung atau tidak langsung, sedar ataupun tidak sedar.
Bazir wang rakyat
Istilah 'wang pembayar cukai' atau taxpayers money, atau harta awam sepatutnya sentiasa dipakai dalam media dan ungkapan rakyat. Justeru, apabila kerajaan membelanja untuk sesuatu projek atau menyalurkan harta kepada mana-mana pihak, hendaklah dilapor atau disebut “kerajaan menggunakan wang pembayar cukai atau harta rakyat untuk projek itu dan ini”.
klcc new year celebration fireworks 2Jika berlaku pembaziran, hendaklah dilapor dan disebutkan “kerajaan telah membazirkan wang pembayar cukai, atau merosakkan harta awam, merugikan wang rakyat”.
Ungkapan ini penting supaya orang-orang politik sedar bahawa bantuan dan peruntukan yang mereka salurkan kepada rakyat bukan wang poket mereka, atau harta peribadi mereka sehingga mereka boleh mendabik dada bangga. Sebaliknya, ia sememang harta rakyat.
Begitulah rakyat, mereka tidak boleh tertipu dengan merasakan seorang-olah bantuan yang diumumkan oleh orang-orang politik itu dari 'harta persendirian' tokoh politik tersebut, sebaliknya ia memang harta rakyat yang diuruskan oleh orang-orang politik.
Peminta sedekah
Ini boleh mengelakkan perasaan rakyat yang merasakan mereka bagaikan peminta sedekah kepada kerajaan dan mengelakkan orang-orang politik lupa diri terhadap wang awam yang mereka belanja atau istiharkan dalam kempen politik mereka.
malaysia poor indian community poverty 230807Sesebuah kerajaan bukan dipuji kerana mereka berbelanja dengan wang rakyat atau wang pembayar cukai itu, tetapi mereka dipuji kerana pengurusan yang cemerlang dan amanah dalam mengendalikan harta awam atau harta rakyat.
Ertinya, jika kerajaan berjaya mengendalikan harta rakyat dengan cemerlang dan amanah, maka kerajaan itu dipuji dan disokong, begitu juga sebaliknya.
Istilah 'taxpayer money', atau 'taxpayer funds' atau 'taxpayers dollars' sering digunakan dalam media negara maju apabia memperkatakan tentang pembelanjaan ataupun pembaziran oleh pihak kerajaan.
Istilah seperti ini sebenarnya boleh membantu mengelakkan kecuaian kerajaan dan dalam masa yang sama boleh menyedarkan rakyat tentang hakikat wang yang digunakan oleh pihak kerajaan. Istilah ini juga patut dihidupkan dalam negara kita.
http://www.malaysiakini.com/columns/157226
Selasa, Februari 22, 2011
Sesak..
Ofis:
Stress sungguh rasanya..berat sungguh kepala..semua jadi tak betul, tidur lebih dari cukup, makan pun cukup, otak tak dapat berfungsi dgn baik....aduss...teruknya nak buat paper ni...
Dahla tu, paper ni kena paksa buat oleh SV utk hantar ke AMCIS 2011 di Chicago bulan 8 nanti..due date hari Ahad ni aje dah,,, Itu pun sebenarnya dia suruh hantaer 2 paper, satu lagi ke bled econference...itu aku ckp kat dia awal2 aku surrender sbb bidang tak kena. Hari ni baru dapat emal pulak dari dia surh hantar paper ke IBIMA 2011 di KL la pulak!!! Aduh...sesak sungguh nafasku ini...
Balik rumah:
Keadaan lebih tegang sbb jemput org dtg makan..biasa la, bila masa dah suntuk, habis anak2 jadi mangsa..kena marah tak tentu pasal, kena paksa buat kerja itu ini...semua ketakutan..
sama je rasanya ketegangan & kekecohan earthquake Christchurch hari ni, 6.3 skala ritcher...
Tak tahan sungguh!!!
Stress sungguh rasanya..berat sungguh kepala..semua jadi tak betul, tidur lebih dari cukup, makan pun cukup, otak tak dapat berfungsi dgn baik....aduss...teruknya nak buat paper ni...
Dahla tu, paper ni kena paksa buat oleh SV utk hantar ke AMCIS 2011 di Chicago bulan 8 nanti..due date hari Ahad ni aje dah,,, Itu pun sebenarnya dia suruh hantaer 2 paper, satu lagi ke bled econference...itu aku ckp kat dia awal2 aku surrender sbb bidang tak kena. Hari ni baru dapat emal pulak dari dia surh hantar paper ke IBIMA 2011 di KL la pulak!!! Aduh...sesak sungguh nafasku ini...
Balik rumah:
Keadaan lebih tegang sbb jemput org dtg makan..biasa la, bila masa dah suntuk, habis anak2 jadi mangsa..kena marah tak tentu pasal, kena paksa buat kerja itu ini...semua ketakutan..
sama je rasanya ketegangan & kekecohan earthquake Christchurch hari ni, 6.3 skala ritcher...
Tak tahan sungguh!!!
Khamis, Februari 17, 2011
Rabu, Februari 09, 2011
Selasa, Februari 08, 2011
Isnin, Januari 31, 2011
Rabu, Januari 26, 2011
Australia Day- kelas tajwid
Hari ni 26/1, hari Austalia, public holiday di sini. Saya menghadirkan diri ke kelas tajwid dan memberi sumbangan mengajar hukum nun mati dan tanwib dan hukum mim mati...ramai juga yg datang..termasuk K Lis, Alin, Yanti Azam, Miza, Sitah, K Nita, Flinders, k Tini, Aishah, K Nana, etc...lepas tu gi rumah kak nana..makan spagetti dan kek cheese..pastu berombongan pulak ke Asian groceris..smpai rumah dah pukul 4.30pm...huh..kelas tajwid td mula pukul 10.10am
Selasa, Januari 25, 2011
Isnin, Januari 24, 2011
Mak balik
Semalam mak berangkat balik Malaysia setelah 2 bulan setengah di sini..masa hantar mak ok je rasanya...amik travel assistance..terbukti berbaloi...lps hantar mak gi Harbour Town, rumah Sitah..makan pekasam yg mak buat..sedih mak tak sempat rasa...
OTW balik, di remang senja, kesedihan datang menderu melanda hati....sob sob sob...ibu...aku telah gagal memberi layanan istimewa sepanjang kau di sini...
SAAAYYYYAAAANNNGGGG MAKK......
Happy dengar mak selamat sampai dan dipermudahkansemua urusan..mak kata tersangat senang, org terus hantar ke tempat duduk..sampai di KL semua org uruskan sampai ke tangan Fizah..singgah rumah Rosnia beri buah, pastu tidur rumah Laila. Pagi ni bertolak ke Grik..mak, fizah, Diah..happy mak bersembang sepanjang perjalanan ke Gerik..di Gerik pun, happy dengar diorg enjoy makan buah...
semoga mak sentiasa bahagia dunia akhirat..mak dah tunaikan tanggungjawabnya dgn tersangat excellent, mak layak utk dapat layanan/balasan excellent...Mak, kasihmu tak bertepi....kami tak mampu membalasnya...
OTW balik, di remang senja, kesedihan datang menderu melanda hati....sob sob sob...ibu...aku telah gagal memberi layanan istimewa sepanjang kau di sini...
SAAAYYYYAAAANNNGGGG MAKK......
Happy dengar mak selamat sampai dan dipermudahkansemua urusan..mak kata tersangat senang, org terus hantar ke tempat duduk..sampai di KL semua org uruskan sampai ke tangan Fizah..singgah rumah Rosnia beri buah, pastu tidur rumah Laila. Pagi ni bertolak ke Grik..mak, fizah, Diah..happy mak bersembang sepanjang perjalanan ke Gerik..di Gerik pun, happy dengar diorg enjoy makan buah...
semoga mak sentiasa bahagia dunia akhirat..mak dah tunaikan tanggungjawabnya dgn tersangat excellent, mak layak utk dapat layanan/balasan excellent...Mak, kasihmu tak bertepi....kami tak mampu membalasnya...
Selasa, Januari 18, 2011
Jalan2 Adelaide ngan mak
hari ni peluang hr last utk bawa mak jalan sblm dia baik 27hb ni. esok ada kelas tajwid, lusa nak prepare utk kenduri.jumaat nak buat kenduri bday syakirin + aqilah dan sempena mak nak balik, sabtu ada jemputan wan flinders, ahad mak berangkat balik. jadi wp kerja banyak, hari ni aku sacrifice tak g ofis, demi mak.
pukul 12 baru bertolak. sbnarnya hr ni mmg aku rasa nak demam.sejuk kaki tangan. badan rasa tak larat je..cam org mengandung lak rasanya...mula2 singgah rumah Ayu amik kupon Fel-fella, pastu gi Muzium Adelaide, pasti the Immigrant Museum, pastu sembahyang dan makan roti. Ten gi Rundle Mall, makan di Swinging Bowl, sempal bli Opal kerongsang utk mak dan opal necklace utk kak ngah. AUD4.50 je setiap satu...murah je rupanya...
pastu gi makan lak di Fel fella, ayak sekor, large pizza, hot chips, garlic breas, air dgn harga offer AUD29.90 berbaloi2...masa nak balik k ngah ngan Yayng dah tak tahan nak poo poo tp abah pujuk tahan bg sampai rumah takut org dtg ngaji...smpai rmh landing jap, suara mmg dah garau, badan dah panas, kepala sakit. masuk je maghrib 8.30pm, bangun mandi, trus ngajar ngaji...lps tu bincang ngan Liza, Ayu, Hai pasal kenduri..lama gak, ni diorang baru balik....anak2 minta nak makan pizza td yg lgsung blum bersetuh...
esok kelas ngaji d rumah kak tini 11am-1pm, appointment IT Helpdesk nak install SPSS 2pm...barang2 nak kena beli....oohhh..so many to do, to think,...lum prepare utk kelas tajwid esokkk....
pukul 12 baru bertolak. sbnarnya hr ni mmg aku rasa nak demam.sejuk kaki tangan. badan rasa tak larat je..cam org mengandung lak rasanya...mula2 singgah rumah Ayu amik kupon Fel-fella, pastu gi Muzium Adelaide, pasti the Immigrant Museum, pastu sembahyang dan makan roti. Ten gi Rundle Mall, makan di Swinging Bowl, sempal bli Opal kerongsang utk mak dan opal necklace utk kak ngah. AUD4.50 je setiap satu...murah je rupanya...
pastu gi makan lak di Fel fella, ayak sekor, large pizza, hot chips, garlic breas, air dgn harga offer AUD29.90 berbaloi2...masa nak balik k ngah ngan Yayng dah tak tahan nak poo poo tp abah pujuk tahan bg sampai rumah takut org dtg ngaji...smpai rmh landing jap, suara mmg dah garau, badan dah panas, kepala sakit. masuk je maghrib 8.30pm, bangun mandi, trus ngajar ngaji...lps tu bincang ngan Liza, Ayu, Hai pasal kenduri..lama gak, ni diorang baru balik....anak2 minta nak makan pizza td yg lgsung blum bersetuh...
esok kelas ngaji d rumah kak tini 11am-1pm, appointment IT Helpdesk nak install SPSS 2pm...barang2 nak kena beli....oohhh..so many to do, to think,...lum prepare utk kelas tajwid esokkk....
Laporan berkala 6 bulan kedua PhD
Alhamdulillah...setahun berlalu...2 tahun menanti...long way to go..
SV baru hantar email tya progress dan perancangan 2011 termasuk number of publication termasuk book chapters...camana ni???
Sabtu, Januari 15, 2011
Khamis, Januari 06, 2011
6 january
Hati sungguh rasa tak tenang, tak tenteram, resah gelisah. Yang ditunggu tak kunjung tiba, yang menunggu tak disentuh2...
Mmg byk yg menunggu
Data analysis, reporting, claiming..
SV akan balik hujung bulan ni..mak akan balik 23 hb ... asyik duk rumah buang masa...lusa, hari GS yang penting, agen rumah lak nak dtg buat inspection..rumah berserabai lg...
anak2 makan tak menentu..tak menentu jg siap yg masak..biasa tu hb, bila mak ada, dia buat liat pulak..aku terpaksa cover2 juga, tolong mak sikit2..rasa nak marah juga, dahla waktu aku byk kerja ni...
Targat tinggi..10 publications tahun ni, tp blm start2 tulis /cari avenue/ analyse bahan tulisan..arrgghhhhh...serabutnya rasa..begini penyakit hati rupanya...ada rasa kecik hati...kenapa nak rasa camtu??? diorg bukannya siapapun bgku..
Mmg byk yg menunggu
Data analysis, reporting, claiming..
SV akan balik hujung bulan ni..mak akan balik 23 hb ... asyik duk rumah buang masa...lusa, hari GS yang penting, agen rumah lak nak dtg buat inspection..rumah berserabai lg...
anak2 makan tak menentu..tak menentu jg siap yg masak..biasa tu hb, bila mak ada, dia buat liat pulak..aku terpaksa cover2 juga, tolong mak sikit2..rasa nak marah juga, dahla waktu aku byk kerja ni...
Targat tinggi..10 publications tahun ni, tp blm start2 tulis /cari avenue/ analyse bahan tulisan..arrgghhhhh...serabutnya rasa..begini penyakit hati rupanya...ada rasa kecik hati...kenapa nak rasa camtu??? diorg bukannya siapapun bgku..
Isnin, Januari 03, 2011
Cherrytime
Sabtu 1-1-ime Orchard, Lobethal. Elok nak parking, Simon sefamily sampai...so fancy..dia bawa mak mentua, isteri, 2 anak..so, kami picking together2..
Semangat
Isnin pertama 2011. Rasa bersemangat nak ke ofis mulakan kerja...dah 2-3 minggu bermalas2 di rumah..maklum le..Disember bulan cuti...
Tapi ada pulak org buat prog hr ni...mengganggu minda betul.. ohh..rupanya hr ni public holiday... tp akan tetap kumulakan kerjaku...:
Tapi ada pulak org buat prog hr ni...mengganggu minda betul.. ohh..rupanya hr ni public holiday... tp akan tetap kumulakan kerjaku...:
- Update milestone
- List things to do
- Reporting UiTM & KPT
- Start menulis
- Analyse data
- Buat conference papers & hantar-target tahun ni 10 he he
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